The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In the argument, the author concludes that in the next couple of months, sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to augment dramatically. He comes to this conclusion based on the survey carried out that suggested that the decline in sales trend is about to take a new turn. While this assertion from the author might prove true, as it stands now, the argument relies on three unwarranted assumption that hampers its credibility.
To begin, the author assumes that people between ages ten to twenty-five are most likely to play videos games. However, this may not be true. For instance, there might be a sudden breakthrough in job employment that will require people in the age bracket stated above particularly people in their early twenties, to relocate to another environment due to new jobs gotten. Perhaps, these youths might have just been passing time on games due to lack of availability of work. Moreover, changes might occur that every child around ten years are required to study hard in order to be granted a scholarship. This policy will definitely change their mindset about game. If either of the explanation above proves true, then the author’s claims is not overly compelling.
Further, the author assumes that all the people who were surveyed actually have the same shared interest as regards video games but, this might not be true. For instance, it might be that people who have passion for video games that were actually surveyed are just three out of thirty people due to inefficient survey carried out maybe because of limited survey materials or the surveyors were unlucky not to have met people who are actually thrilled by the games, at home at the time of the survey. In addition, even if all the people surveyed showed interest in game, that does not mean that all of them will actually watch it may be due to financial circumstance. If either scenario above proves true, then the author’s contention is considerably hindered.
Finally, the author assumes that all the people surveyed are actually video game lovers. However, this might not be true. The survey might have been conducted for market women who might not know anything about the games other than their business and the zeal to earn income to cater for their families. Also, people might have pretended and decided to take the survey due to influences around them that moment because they want to feel “among” that moment and after the survey, they return back to who they actually are. If the above scenario proves true, then the author’s argument does not hold water.
In conclusion, increase in Whirlwind video games might be true. However, the author needs to consider the above explanation if he hopes to bolster its persuasiveness. The author should provide warranted claims as to why he believes that there will be an augment in Whirlwind games in the next few months.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2328 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.79 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.376 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.343 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.429 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'assumption' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'assumptions'.
Suggestion: assumptions
...he argument relies on three unwarranted assumption that hampers its credibility. To begin...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
... that moment and after the survey, they return back to who they actually are. If the above ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 252, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...s to why he believes that there will be an augment in Whirlwind games in the next few mont...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, while, as regards, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2401.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94032921811 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49575585145 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456790123457 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.19121009 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.136363636 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0909090909 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09090909091 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.276843720909 0.218282227539 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.093514299837 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0716521485676 0.0701772020484 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.175260173448 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0396966908147 0.0628817314937 63% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.