The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-five years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author claims that sales of Whirlwind games will dramatically increase by applying lifelike graphics and extending their advertising campaign. While the argument may have some merit, it is rifed with unstated assumptions that need to be addressed. The assumptions need to be examined in order to determine whether the argument is cogent enough to claim an increase in Whirlwind profits. If the assumptions are not addressed, then the argument is unsubstantiated and completely falls apart.
Firstly, the author implies that video-game players will buy video games with lifelike graphics. However, the author provides evidence that does not hold weight in the argument. The author claims that lifelike graphics require the most-up-to-date computers. While the survey asked video-game players their most desired feature, there is no evidence indicating whether the players have the most up-to-date computers to be able to play video games with lifelike features. If players do not have updated consoles, then they are less likely to purchase the video games. Therefore, the author must provide evidence that surveys video-game players who are willing and able to buy Whirlwind games that require the most up-to-date computers. If not, then the author will not increase in sales.
Secondly, the author insinuates that Whirlwind will gain many customers only through an extensive amount of advertisement directed at people from ten to twenty-five years old. However, while a campaign that targets a specific age group that is most likely to play may increase customer attraction, the author’s partiality towards the age group can ultimately backfire. The author fails to mention the type of video games that are being advertised. If the video games have a specific age restriction, such as twenty-one years and older, the Whirlwind is advertising to the wrong age gap. Additionally, there is no evidence that indicates whether adults over the ages of twenty-five are less likely to play. Technology has increasingly become accessible to the hands of society, and there is no surprise that thirty year olds are capable of playing video games. Therefore, the author must provide evidence that indicates whether the video games are age appropriate to the advertised group and whether people over the age of twenty-five are less likely to play. If not, then Whirlwind may be advertised incorrectly and lose potential customers for increase in sales.
Lastly, the author implies that sales are most likely to increase in a few months versus the two years that Whirlwind did not receive sales. Perhaps, with successful knowledge of what customers want and effective advertisement, this is possible. However, the author does not provide any substantial data that indicates whether sales are likely to increase. If data shows that sales have increased the first two months, then there is a possibility that sales will continue to increase. However, sales are likely to decrease if an economic crash were to happen or whether consumers are less likely to purchase games during a specific time of the year. Therefore, the author must show data of the expenditures of people that spend on video games throughout the year and whether video games are purchased frequently or occasionally. If not, then sales may not increase.
In conclusion, the argument holds a number of unaddressed assumptions. The author must provide evidence, such as surveys and statistical data, that prove people are willing and able to buy video games from Whirlwind. If not, they Whirlwind may continue to lose profit if they are not addressing the right measures to increase sales and attract consumers.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 584 350
No. of Characters: 3023 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.916 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.176 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.688 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 220 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 177 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 133 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 80 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.138 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.932 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.759 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.331 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, however, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3094.0 2260.96107784 137% => OK
No of words: 583.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30703259005 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91379618374 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80467946747 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.394511149228 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 981.0 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.70958083832 406% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.5688802313 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.689655172 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1034482759 23.324526521 86% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.79310344828 5.70786347227 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288587203991 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0881758427545 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.072844447254 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.173414575796 0.128457276422 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0541236815593 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.52 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 122.0 98.500998004 124% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.