The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The store owner of the Central Plaza recommends prohibiting skateboarding claiming that vandalism and littering brought by skateboarders lead to decrease in their businesses. This recommendation is purely distortion of the limited facts and without answering several crucial questions, will solve none of the Central Plazas problems. Therefore, questions of why citizens choose not to visit the center, what is the overall trend of shopping centers among country and who is actually responsible for the littering and vandalism should be asked. The answer of this questions might help finding better solutions.
First of all, we don't really know why shoppers decided not to visit the central plaza. A survey among old customers can be an answer for this ambiguity. For example, if the number of shopping centers increased in the city, citizens might be choosing to visit the shops closer where they live. If this is the case, prohibiting the skateboarding which obviously attracts skateboarders and lubricates the businesses would generate even lowered revenues. The shop owners can consider organizing events or contests to attract shoppers back to the central plaza according to the answer of this question.
Secondly, the overall economic codition of the country should be taken into account. We should know if people are deciding not to visit the central plaza specifically or all shopping centers. If there is a general trend of saving and the country is in an economic crisis people might have decided not to squander their money until the conditions improve. Again, blaming skateboarders for crowding out shoppers without answering this crucial question is not reasonable and will generate lower revenues.
One final question needed to be answered is that, who is actually responsible of the vandalism and littering. Increased number of skateboarders and increased number of littering are two distinct facts and there is no direct connection between them. Blaming skateboarding is a result of highly biased generalization. Hence, we can't know whether a group of people or the central plazas insufficient cleaning team is responsible for the situation. If later is the case, changing the cleaning team would produce more fertile results.
The answering of the above stated questions will lead better and well informed decisions. If the all answers and examination points out skateboarders, than the recommendation might become more sound. However, as it stands the recommendation is unpersuasive and likely to harm profits even more.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- duplicated to argument 1
argument 3 -- OK
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Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 2106 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.305 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.901 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 169 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 132 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.078 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 585, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to find' or 'find'.
Suggestion: to find; find
...The answer of this questions might help finding better solutions. First of all, we d...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 18, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...g better solutions. First of all, we dont really know why shoppers decided not to...
^^^^
Line 7, column 327, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...highly biased generalization. Hence, we cant know whether a group of people or the c...
^^^^
Line 9, column 152, Rule ID: COMMA_THAN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'then'?
Suggestion: then
...d examination points out skateboarders, than the recommendation might become more so...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, hence, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, for example, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2159.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.45202020202 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95896134645 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 651.6 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2199449468 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.80952381 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8571428571 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.19047619048 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196657478797 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061922470977 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0773136608115 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11322143328 0.128457276422 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646829768967 0.0628817314937 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.