The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper."Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lob

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
"Commuters complain that increased rush-hour traffic on Blue Highway between the suburbs and the city center has doubled their commuting time. The favored proposal of the motorists' lobby is to widen the highway, adding an additional lane of traffic. But last year's addition of a lane to the nearby Green Highway was followed by a worsening of traffic jams on it. A better alternative is to add a bicycle lane to Blue Highway. Many area residents are keen bicyclists. A bicycle lane would encourage them to use bicycles to commute, and so would reduce rush-hour traffic rather than fostering an increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

The author of the argument comes to the conclusion that adding a bicycle lane to Blue Highway would encourage the bicycle keen citizens of the area to commute using bicycle and would reduce rush-hour traffic. However, the argument needs evidences which would make it more reasonable.

First,the author claims that increased rush hour traffic on Blue Highway hass doubled commuting time. But, he needs to elaborate on this. It is possible that rush hour traffic has increased because of the population increase of the city. So ultimately it is going to have a impact on rushh hour traffic as more and more people travel to work to city center.Also there is no mention of public transport. We do not know whether public transport is provided between the suburbs and city centre or not.

Second, the author discusses about the proposal of addition of new lane to Blue Highway. However, he comapres this proposal with another Green Highway where traffic jams worsened because of addition of new lane. The comparision of Blue Highway with Green Highway seems unreasonable because the we do not know the locations with which the Green Highway is connected. It may be possible that the Green Highway is connecting two industrial suburbs of the city and thats why it is always having more traffic on it. Additon of new lane on Green highway may have worsened the condition of traffic because of improper planning and management. Addition of new lane on Blue Highway may not give the same result as in case of Green Highway. In fact it may reduce commuting time.

Next,the author comes up with the suggetion of addition of new bicycle lane. For this he provides the reason that many in the area are keen bicyclist.However, we do not know how many of those keen bicylist will be ready to commute to city center by bicycle. Also ,we do not know the distance between suburbs and the city center.If the distance is too long then it is not vaible to use bicycle. And how the addition of bicycle lane would encourage the keen bicyclist to use bicycle is also unclear. Whether they will be given perks or credits for use of bicycle instead of cars or public transport is not know. People won't use bicycle for long distances if it is taking same time as rush hour traffic.

Finally, the author needs to consider above mentioned points so as to make his argument more cohesive and plausible.

Votes
Average: 6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Sentence: However, he comapres this proposal with another Green Highway where traffic jams worsened because of addition of new lane.
Error: comapres Suggestion: compares

Sentence: The comparision of Blue Highway with Green Highway seems unreasonable because the we do not know the locations with which the Green Highway is connected.
Error: comparision Suggestion: comparison

Sentence: Next,the author comes up with the suggetion of addition of new bicycle lane.
Error: suggetion Suggestion: suggestion

Sentence: For this he provides the reason that many in the area are keen bicyclist.However, we do not know how many of those keen bicylist will be ready to commute to city center by bicycle.
Error: bicylist Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Also ,we do not know the distance between suburbs and the city center.If the distance is too long then it is not vaible to use bicycle.
Error: vaible Suggestion: viable

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argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE, we have to accept all data or evidence are true. //suggested: maybe adding a lane will work for Blue highway

argument 2 -- OK

argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 1927 1500
No. of Different Words: 171 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.599 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.326 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.693 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.339 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.172 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5