The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Parkville Daily newspaper.
"Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries. When interviewed for a recent study, youth-league soccer players in several major cities also reported psychological pressure exerted by coaches and parents to win games. Furthermore, education experts say that long practice sessions for these sports take away time that could be used for academic activities. Since the disadvantages outweigh any advantages, we in Parkville should discontinue organized athletic competition for children under nine."
The argument claims that the country last year, more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports and more than 40,000 players are suffered from injuries, also in major cities many players suffered from pressure that exerted by coaches and parents to win the games and also education experts suggests that the sports take away time that should be used for study so, dye to these disadvantages in Parkville should discontinue organized thletic competition. Stated in this way the argument is fails to mention several key factors bases on which it could be evaluated. The conclusion relies on the argument for which there is no clear evidence. so, it can be unsubstantiated and unsupported. However,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals little credible support for the author's argument.
First of all, The argument readily assumes that the more and more children below the nine age participated in youth-league sports and over 40,000 younf players suffered from injuries. This is a merely an assumption without solid ground. For example, if there are 20,0000 players will interest in sports-league and 40,000 players suffered from injuries then it is not solid strength of players who are injured and due to this reason is not valid for discontinue under nine year competiton.
Second, the argument claims that the in major cities more players are suffered from psychological presuure. It is again weak and unsupported claim as The argument does not demonstrate any absolute numbers that specify how many players are suffer from psychological pressure. For example only 10,000 players suffer from pressure out of 10,0000 players than it is not valid reason for discontinue the under nine age sport league.
Third, The argument cites that the many educated experts suggest that sports take away time that should be used in study and it is disadvantage to gives time in sports practices. It is again very weak assumption that sports practice waste the time. If players are practices for sports than it will be help during actual match day. Due to practice players are aware of his misunderstandig and it will lead to be help in future. However,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals little credible support for the author's argument with respect to several critical facts and raises a several skeptical question. For example how many players are suffered from pressure?, is it waste time for game practice? Without the answer of this question the reader left with the impression that the claims made by author are more wishful rather than substantive.
In, Conclusion the author's argument unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further the author must provide better concrete evidence. It could be considerably strengthened if author explicitly mentions all relevant facts. In order to asses the merit of certain situation it is essential to have a great knowledge about contributing factors. So, finally as a result this conclusion has no legs to stand.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The argument claims that the country last year, more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports and more than 40,000 players are suffered from injuries, also in major cities many players suffered from pressure that exerted by coaches and parents to win the games and also education experts suggests that the sports take away time that should be used for study so, dye to these disadvantages in Parkville should discontinue organized thletic competition.
Error: thletic Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First of all, The argument readily assumes that the more and more children below the nine age participated in youth-league sports and over 40,000 younf players suffered from injuries.
Error: younf Suggestion: young
Sentence: For example, if there are 20,0000 players will interest in sports-league and 40,000 players suffered from injuries then it is not solid strength of players who are injured and due to this reason is not valid for discontinue under nine year competiton.
Error: competiton Suggestion: competition
Sentence: Second, the argument claims that the in major cities more players are suffered from psychological presuure.
Error: presuure Suggestion: pressure
Sentence: Due to practice players are aware of his misunderstandig and it will lead to be help in future.
Error: misunderstandig Suggestion: misunderstanding
=================
flaws:
the arguments are not addressed properly. like:
'The argument readily assumes that the more and more children below the nine age participated in youth-league sports and over 40,000 younf players suffered from injuries. This is a merely an assumption without solid ground. '
In GRE, we accept all data or evidence are true. It is important to find out loopholes behind surveys or studies. Loopholes mean that we accept all surveys told are true, but there are some conditions applied, for example:
if we argue this:
Throughout the country last year, as more and more children below the age of nine participated in youth-league sports, over 40,000 of these young players suffered injuries.
we may argue like:
1. among 40,000 young players suffered injuries, maybe only 4 of them are children below the age of nine.
2. it is just for last year, maybe other years are different.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2466 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.074 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.676 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 190 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 146 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.6 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 674, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...t for which there is no clear evidence. so, it can be unsubstantiated and unsuppor...
^^
Line 1, column 728, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , careful
...unsubstantiated and unsupported. However,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals little...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 802, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...reveals little credible support for the authors argument. First of all, The argument ...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 194, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...layers suffered from injuries. This is a merely an assumption without solid groun...
^^
Line 3, column 240, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'suffered'.
Suggestion: suffered
...mbers that specify how many players are suffer from psychological pressure. For exampl...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 421, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'league' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'leagues'.
Suggestion: leagues
...or discontinue the under nine age sport league. Third, The argument cites that the m...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 417, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...nderstandig and it will lead to be help in future. However,careful scrutiny of the eviden...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 435, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , careful
... will lead to be help in future. However,careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals little...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 509, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...reveals little credible support for the authors argument with respect to several critic...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... than substantive. In, Conclusion the authors argument unpersuasive as it stands. To ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, then, third, for example, as a result, first of all, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2512.0 2260.96107784 111% => OK
No of words: 484.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19008264463 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79638818832 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456611570248 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 766.8 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 91.4187482064 57.8364921388 158% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.217391304 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0434782609 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.21739130435 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 17.0 6.88822355289 247% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.224120326501 0.218282227539 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0580636856564 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109494523102 0.0701772020484 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145910366602 0.128457276422 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.118113331613 0.0628817314937 188% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.01 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.5 12.3882235529 230% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 29.0 11.9071856287 244% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.