The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The memo published by the director of student housing at Buckingham college establishes the conclusion that the growing rates of outside housing and the increased enrollment in the college will make it necessary for them to increase the dormitory space.The conclusion led is based on unanswered questions and on some spurious facts. Proper examination of the situation is important for drawing a conclusion.
Firstly, no authentication of the information provided is given. The fact drawn that the number of students are likely to double is based on the current trends of enrollment of students, whose source is absent here. Thus, no credence can be laid upon the fact that this increase will account for the double growth rate in forthcoming 50 years. Also, the assumption that the enrollment will be doubled is based on the analysis done for 50 years. Since, the term 50 years is too large to be taken into consideration. Many things can change in this huge span of 5 decades. It is nominal to consider a span of a decade for designing a thought process to expand the space for living but simply considering 50 years is too long term thought.
The foundation of the argument is based on the fact that the average rent of the apartment has increased in the town during recent years, but nothing can be told about the coming years from the above laid fact. It is highly possible that people in coming years might prefer to live in the town even after paying a hefty amount of sum or may be the town living prices decline because of some or the other reason in the coming future.Also, there is a possibility for an establishment of another university in the coming future. The establishment of this new university in the proximity of Buckingham college may lead to distribution of mass of students. Also, the students may enroll in this newly established university because of its affordable living charges.
Lastly, the director of student housing sector has mentioned in the memo that attractive new dormitories will lure the students to get enrolled in the Buckingham college. This fact is not true. It is possible that higher enrollment in recent years is based on the fact that the education provided and living in campus is affordable by students, which has led to increase of students enrollment. It is possible that with more attractive dormitories the college will try to fetch more fees from students to cut the cost of construction of such dormitories. This will ultimately discourage the students to get into the Buckingham College.
Lastly no conclusion can be drawn from the facts and arguments raised in the memo published by the director.Proper statistical data of the students enrolled and the students who live inside the campus is required. Anticipating the outcome for 50 years is futile, short term plan is required to address this kind of situation. Being wary about the establishment of other universities in the proximity of the college is also important as this can lead to distribution of mass. Thus, short term solution with proper analysis on factual data in this case might help.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 529 350
No. of Characters: 2541 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.796 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.803 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.739 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.971 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 254, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...or them to increase the dormitory space.The conclusion led is based on unanswered q...
^^^
Line 5, column 446, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ased on the analysis done for 50 years. Since, the term 50 years is too large to be t...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 433, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...r the other reason in the coming future.Also, there is a possibility for an establis...
^^^^
Line 17, column 109, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Proper
...d in the memo published by the director.Proper statistical data of the students enroll...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, lastly, may, so, then, thus, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2605.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 526.0 441.139720559 119% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95247148289 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.78901763229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84480024478 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.431558935361 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 808.2 705.55239521 115% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 76.8054857717 57.8364921388 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.409090909 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.9090909091 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.86363636364 5.70786347227 50% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211022645969 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658799501359 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879235905724 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13850898771 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0912132168934 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.87 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.