The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years.“
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
According to the letter the vice president’s argument seems convincing at first, however, lack of information lead me to question the credibility on the author’s argument.
Fisrtly, I have a reservation that the author considered the exact number of cars that pass through the Route 101 and 40. There are mint factors that cause the crack on the road, therefore it is too hasty too judge that Good Intentions Roadways has to be replaced by Appain Roadways. Route 101 might have more number of cars a day than Route 40, if the discripancy between two Route are remarkable it is possible that road paved by Appain might cracked soon in two years.
Secondly, the questions should be answered that state-of-the-art paving machinery improves the endurance of paved road or not. The recently purchased machinery need to be proved in quality but, as the author demonstrated, the machinary was purchased recently that the there might be no chance to prove whether the new machinary would help paving more permanent road or not.
Lastly, the specific information of the new quality-control manager should be new afforded on the question that the new manager is better than initial manager in paving more endurable road. A new manager does not represent the adroit and masterful manager, it is too rash for the author to conclude that the new manager would pave the road stronger and more solid. This is because that new manager might not know the condition and evironment around the Route better than the previous manager.
In summary, the author’s argument seems unconvincing on many grounds. Specific informations such as road condition, new machinary’s efficiency, new manager’s capacity and prices need to be considered more thoroughly.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Route 101 might have more number of cars a day than Route 40, if the discripancy between two Route are remarkable it is possible that road paved by Appain might cracked soon in two years.
Error: discripancy Suggestion: discrepancy
Sentence: The recently purchased machinery need to be proved in quality but, as the author demonstrated, the machinary was purchased recently that the there might be no chance to prove whether the new machinary would help paving more permanent road or not.
Error: machinary Suggestion: machinery
Sentence: This is because that new manager might not know the condition and evironment around the Route better than the previous manager.
Error: evironment Suggestion: environment
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 285 350
No. of Characters: 1419 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.109 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.979 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.714 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 80 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.251 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.722 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to judge'?
Suggestion: to judge
... on the road, therefore it is too hasty too judge that Good Intentions Roadways has to be...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to pave' or 'pave'.
Suggestion: to pave; pave
...ve whether the new machinary would help paving more permanent road or not. Lastly,...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, therefore, as to, in summary, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 55.5748502994 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1485.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 284.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22887323944 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10515524023 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01787268528 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.524647887324 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 451.8 705.55239521 64% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.4349518398 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.0 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8181818182 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.36363636364 5.70786347227 147% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.129497458047 0.218282227539 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0576315442741 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0422071024165 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0756308036674 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0562477790552 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.35 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.