The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.
“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
As the argument recommends as owner of Movies Galore, raising prices is not a good option, although profits are declining. They should reduce operating hours and it claims that they have received very few customer complaints about these new policies. As a result, they recommend they should now adopt them at all other Movie Galore stores as their best strategies for improving profits. As a result, they hope to resolve this problem with these ways.
First of all, author claims that because of declining profits, they must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten movie-rental stores and raising prices is not a good way because they are famous for their low prices. Although this store is famous for its low price, if it is raised in other stores, this store can also raise the price. Therefore the author’s theory is insufficient. We can think about the environment in society.
Secondly, the statement claims that they should reduce their operating hours. If they reduce their time in working they may lose their costumes. If lose some costume make the store profit become less or it become a negative, this way will be wrong and cannot resolve the problem.
Third, it claims to have reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVDs released more than five years ago. This is a terrible idea if these customers always buy these DVDs from more than five years ago. If their costumes like collecting these old DVDs, and the store gives up these DVDs, they will earn less profit.
Finally, the statement thinks that they have received very few customer complaints about these new policies and should adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as their best strategies for improving profits. We need more evidence to prove these customers are not against these policies. These customers may not like to complain about these things. We also want to ensure these customers do not buy DVDs from 5 years ago, or if most customers come to this store in 7:00 even if 9:00, these new policies will be unreasonable.
To sum up, they still need more evidences to prove these opinions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 360 350
No. of Characters: 1698 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.356 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.717 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.271 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 114 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.947 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.894 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.789 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.301 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 345, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...s, this store can also raise the price. Therefore the author’s theory is insufficient. We...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ey should reduce their operating hours. If they reduce their time in working they ...
^^
Line 3, column 207, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'becomes'?
Suggestion: becomes
...make the store profit become less or it become a negative, this way will be wrong and ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, third, as a result, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 55.0 28.8173652695 191% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 31.0 55.5748502994 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 5.0 16.3942115768 30% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1750.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88826815642 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.35235336803 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483240223464 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 538.2 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 4.96107784431 302% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.5426508682 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.1052631579 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8421052632 23.324526521 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.183658968929 0.218282227539 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0603851740405 0.0743258471296 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0668933237671 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0969931273171 0.128457276422 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0800258300565 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.08 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.