The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
The argument that the more chances of accessing a pinnacle of success in running a business by constructing a new store which is adjacent to the areas with a surge of denizens cannot be totally tenable. The statement disregards some critical presumptions.
To commence, the allegation assumes that all sport clothes can carry a plethora of currency for the clients. In contrast, it underestimates the negative sides of facing with recession after appearance of new and novel ones which are more up-to-date and convenient. Thus, it should not be articulated that all the time, clothes pertained to sports assure the high efficiency in marketing. Furthermore, the higher the prices of commodities, the less people’s purchasing power will be observed. Hence, after a while, the number of customers will be lowered to its lowest point.
Afterward, the announcement never addresses the importance of being equipped all tools that the members in clubs require. Thus, not only do the desire and inclination of members talk first in adopting one realm to establish a club, but also providing the sufficient and appropriate amenities for members can determine the degree of happiness and satisfaction of persons joining the club; accordingly this elevated the status of revenue of the founder.
Finally, the article wipes out altering the taste of the next progenitor. As a matter of the fact, predicting the predilection of the next generation in accordance with the precedents seems illogical. Therefore, the ambiguous penchant of the next off springs may push the sport business toward the adversity and debacle. To shed more light, the text does not investigate the angle of types of assorted sports and just contemplates the current favorite.
To put in a nutshell, what is specified in the article does not include all dimensions of running a business. The evidence in support of commencing a new store based on the previous experience in congested regions with a number of residents cannot be plausible. Ultimately, the argument might have been intensified by equipping the new store with cutting-edge facilities, allotting more attention to the interest of both the current and the future participants, and the last but not least it should pointed out the paramounce of other aspects of sports not just clothes.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Let's analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. //
we may argue like:
maybe other reasons caused high sales. for example: Perhaps exercise apparel happens to be fashionable at the moment, or inexpensive compared to other types of clothing; or there is a promotion; or maybe the area is in a hilly area. ....
condition 2:
The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. //
we may argue like:
maybe other health clubs are closed, so people have to choose this club; or
members are from other nearby cities; or
members actually have little interest in a healthy lifestyle. or:
members are not big enough to make benefit
......
condition 3:
We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age. //
we may argue like:
schoolchildren's habits and interests might change radically over time.
mandatory participation is no indication of genuine interest in health or fitness.
.......
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1899 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.901 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.199 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.556 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.04 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, thus, while, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 9.0 28.8173652695 31% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1960.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24064171123 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01410792415 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.566844919786 0.468620217663 121% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 78.5808379752 57.8364921388 136% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.5 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.375 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.75 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0546350975377 0.218282227539 25% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0144410512158 0.0743258471296 19% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0239458934687 0.0701772020484 34% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0297712624767 0.128457276422 23% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0271284621471 0.0628817314937 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.9 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.84 8.32208582834 118% => OK
difficult_words: 120.0 98.500998004 122% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.