The following appeared as part of an article in a Dillton newspaper.
"In an effort to bring new jobs to Dillton and stimulate the city's flagging economy, Dillton's city council voted last year to lower the city's corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, the city began offering generous relocation grants to any company that would move to Dillton. Since these changes went into effect, two new factories have opened in Dillton. Although the two factories employ more than 1,000 people, the unemployment rate in Dillton remains unchanged. The only clear explanation for this is that the new factories are staffed with out-of-town workers rather than Dillton residents."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The writer believes that the reason that the unemployment rates in Dillton remain unchanged depite the several efforts to improve employment, is that new factories have been employing out-of-town workers rather than Dillton residents. This argument is flawed as it does not take into account other reasons that this phenomenon might be observed, but tries to make conclusions with simplistic reasoning.
Primarily, the writer does not present any population statistics of Dillton. The employment of more than a 1000 workers in new factories might be insignificant if Dillton houses over a million residents, especially considering that not every one of these workers is a resident of Dillton. This would account for the unchanged employment rate, and thus it cannot be conclusively stated that Dillton workers are not employed in these factories.
Secondly, the writer fails to take into account the professional skills of the residents of Dillton. Unemployment is not confined to jobs that can be perfomed in factories. As a result, even if there were better job opportunities in factories, residents who are employed in software development for instance, would not find new employment opportunities within two newly opened factories, regardless of how much money and effort is spent by the city to employ people here. Perhaps the people of Dillton are suited for fields that are incompatible with the new jobs offered by the factories, which could account for the lack of an increased employment rate.
Furthermore, there may be some other underlying reasons that could account for the stagnation in the employment rates in Dillton. For instance, perhaps some of the unemployed people in Dillton are unemployed, not because of a lack of jobs, but because they are homeless, or perhaps disabled. These are not problems that can be solved by simply offering more employment opportunities. In addition, perhaps the salaries offered in the new jobs are not up to the standards of the rest of the city's jobs. In such a situation, it is likely that unemployed residents might keep seeking better opportunities instead of settling for lower paying jobs in the new factories. This could plausibly explain why the employment rate within Dillton is still stagnant.
In conclusion, the writer misguidedly believes that offering more jobs is tantamount to providing a solution to unemployment. He/she does not consider some of the more complex factors that might be responsible for the unemployment.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 397 350
No. of Characters: 2054 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.464 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.875 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.353 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.542 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.088 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 134, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'job'.
Suggestion: job
...illton. Unemployment is not confined to jobs that can be perfomed in factories. As a...
^^^^
Line 13, column 153, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...rates in Dillton. For instance, perhaps some of the unemployed people in Dillton are unempl...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 152, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
... unemployment. He/she does not consider some of the more complex factors that might be resp...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ht be responsible for the unemployment.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, thus, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2120.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 396.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35353535354 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46091344257 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97949407798 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464646464646 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 641.7 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.4153173079 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.705882353 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2941176471 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.29411764706 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173520041209 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0648880874815 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0432710411276 0.0701772020484 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102401209233 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0471330004617 0.0628817314937 75% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.