The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument makes several unstated assumptions and hence, is not well reasoned. While it may be true that firstborn humans produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations, this author's unsubstantiated argument utterly fails to weave a cogent case to prove it.
The author makes a crucial error in logic when it assumes that the research results of the study on monkeys also proves that it may be true for human beings. In the study on monkeys, firstborn monkey's cortisol levels were compared with its younger siblings. In the case of humans, the author does not compare the cortisol levels of firstborn with that of its younger siblings. Hence, without benchmarking with younger siblings, it cannot be concluded that the firstborn produces higher levels of cortisol.
Also troubling is the author's argument is his assumption that age has no role to play in the production of the hormone. The levels of cortisol produced in an offspring could be a function of age and maturity rather than being the firstborn. Had the author mentioned that the study recorded the cortisol levels of all the offsprings at the same age, the logic would have been more convincing. Therefore, unless age-wise study data is available, it cannot be concluded that the author's claim is logical
Another unstated assumption the argument makes is that the higher cortisol levels in first-time mother monkey translate into higher cortisol levels in firstborn. It could be since the female monkey body is experiencing the pregnancy for the first time compared to those who had several offsprings. Had the author stated that an offspring is born with similar hormonal levels as a mother, the logic would have been stronger. Thus, the argument that higher cortisol levels in first time females support the theory is faulty.
Finally, the author does not provide other important data points such as whether these monkeys were from different breeds or how closely their physiology is related to human. The phenomena may be restricted to a specific breed of monkeys. Also, the monkeys in the study could be way different in their physiology compared to humans and hence, an analogy can not be drawn between the experiment subjects and monkeys in general or human beings at large.
To conclude, the author makes many unaddressed assumptions that seriously undermine its validity. Unless these underlying assumptions are addressed, the argument falls apart, the conclusion that firstborn humans produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations could be flawed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2118 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.615 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.737 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.797 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.579 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 194, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...ngs. In the study on monkeys, firstborn monkeys cortisol levels were compared with its ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... produces higher levels of cortisol. Also troubling is the authors argument is hi...
^^^^
Line 5, column 23, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...s of cortisol. Also troubling is the authors argument is his assumption that age has...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, hence, if, may, so, therefore, thus, well, while, in general, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25181598063 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67664785036 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.462469733656 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 666.0 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.6400469059 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.5 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9444444444 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.05555555556 5.70786347227 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1243810422 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0462643296636 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0352529727739 0.0701772020484 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0722888406666 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0118236580886 0.0628817314937 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.59 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.