The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
Stimulating situations, like other situations, will produce some kind of hormones to produce unique responses and reflexes. But, the main idea, hormone cortisol, within which this whole statement revolves obviously stimulates a question whether if hormone cortisol the only hormone produced. The editor of the scientific journal would be as perplexed as we are, without enough data. The study result presented above by the author is more questionable due to lack of insight in the statement.
Eighteen rhesus monkeys' study is quite satisfying. But, Is this level of perspection into research enough? With only one hormone under main focus, the amount of hormone produced is dubious. The word 'twice' doesn't exactly represent the actual amount.If the initial hormone level was more negligible, then the twice that amount would also be insignificant. Without an exact data, it would be obviously tough for the scientific journalist to analze the data and present.
Secondly, assuming that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than with other offsprings, it doesn't clearly explain why that was the case. Either the first-time mother monkeys subjected to more stimulating situations or it was just the usual body functioning? After all, the firstborn infants monkeys having more cortisol hormones might have it because of the first-time pregnancy of mother. It is also possible that it was the situation that actually stimulated the hormone corstisol. As the other type of hormones, such as reflex hormones are not explained, the statement is assumed to pose vague result.
Monkeys being offering parallelism with humans in many research, it is not known whether all type of monkeys could represent humans. Though the stimulating situations for humans and monkeys are different, we don't know whether it is different only within own circl or different circle. It is always easy to discriminate within humans and within monkeys as each ones character differs. To post a fact that all eighteen rhesus monkeys don't have similar character for similar stimulating condition atleast. This again makes the term 'twice' questionable.
As far as from my interpolated, it is shown that the insufficient data produces is obvious with the above analysis. Moreover, more research and more insightful analysis about different monkeys or hormone cortisol production or stimulating situations itself might be helpful.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: But, Is this level of perspection into research enough?
Error: perspection Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To post a fact that all eighteen rhesus monkeys don't have similar character for similar stimulating condition atleast.
Error: atleast Suggestion: at least
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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sample arguments:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 380 350
No. of Characters: 1992 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.415 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.242 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.709 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 125 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.095 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.389 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.511 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.082 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 31, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...ement. Eighteen rhesus monkeys study is quite satisfying. But, Is this level of perspection into...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 136, Rule ID: MAIN_FOCUS[1]
Message: Use simply 'focus'.
Suggestion: focus
...rch enough? With only one hormone under main focus, the amount of hormone produced is dubi...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...one produced is dubious. The word twice doesnt exactly represent the actual amount.If ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...snt exactly represent the actual amount.If the initial hormone level was more negl...
^^
Line 5, column 112, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...cortisol than with other offsprings, it doesnt clearly explain why that was the case. ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 51, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much research', 'a good deal of research'.
Suggestion: much research; a good deal of research
...ing offering parallelism with humans in many research, it is not known whether all type of mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 209, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...or humans and monkeys are different, we dont know whether it is different only withi...
^^^^
Line 7, column 433, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...a fact that all eighteen rhesus monkeys dont have similar character for similar stim...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, after all, kind of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2049.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 375.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.464 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.40055868397 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78731858403 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.533333333333 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 635.4 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.0065753461 57.8364921388 61% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5714285714 119.503703932 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8571428571 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61904761905 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.123400822595 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0444259902617 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0508948967295 0.0701772020484 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0700061408501 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0241480564049 0.0628817314937 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.09 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.