The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author's argument is that effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulations is huge as he proposes the same citing a few examples found in a scientific journal. The first one being that in stimulating situations firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity level, as do their younger siblings. Second evidence provided is Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations like return of a parent after an absence. Third evidence provided is that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than those who had had several offsprings. The authors arguments seems to be deeply flawed as due to lack of reasoning and research behind it. Lets take a deeper look why.
Firstly, just because in the firstborn infant monkeys twice as much level of cortisol has been found as compared to their younger siblings it cannot be concluded that they are more stimulated in that their activity levels are higher. This is for pure and obvious reason that there might be other reasons as to why the firstborns were found to be of higher activity level than their younger siblings, like because of a bias their parents tend to have towards their firstborn or something like that. Also what was the sample size of monkey population studied for this inference, if the size were too small again it points to a lack of research.
Moreover, in the seconds evidence as well where the firstborns of humans are know to produce higher levels of cortisol in stimulating situations like the return of a parent after absence, how many cases were studied to point to this evidence is very important. Until the study was done on a large number of human families the author's argument cannot be agreed with.
Thirdly, during the study it was also found the first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than those who had several offsprings. Here its not at all pointed out that how higher exactly on average are the levels of cortisol. Only if the the average difference is quite substantial can the argument of the author be agreed on, otherwise it still points to the fact that the research is a incomplete.
In conclusion, the argument was asked to be evaluated and its seems that the claim that birth order effects the levels of stimulation cannot be agreed upon until there's more research which accurately points to the argument being true or the same research is at least conducted on a significant sample size of population monkeys, humans and maybe some other species as well.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 446 350
No. of Characters: 2154 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.596 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.83 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.511 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.699 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument is that effects of birth order...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 672, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...igher levels of cortisol than those who had had several offsprings. The authors argumen...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 800, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...ck of reasoning and research behind it. Lets take a deeper look why. Firstly, j...
^^^^
Line 5, column 499, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...their firstborn or something like that. Also what was the sample size of monkey popu...
^^^^
Line 9, column 78, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'known'.
Suggestion: known
...well where the firstborns of humans are know to produce higher levels of cortisol in...
^^^^
Line 9, column 262, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Until” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...int to this evidence is very important. Until the study was done on a large number of...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 290, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... important. Until the study was done on a large number of human families the authors argument can...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 327, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...on a large number of human families the authors argument cannot be agreed with. Th...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 149, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... those who had several offsprings. Here its not at all pointed out that how higher ...
^^^
Line 13, column 247, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...age are the levels of cortisol. Only if the the average difference is quite substantial...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 247, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...age are the levels of cortisol. Only if the the average difference is quite substantial...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 399, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...points to the fact that the research is a incomplete. In conclusion, the arg...
^
Line 13, column 399, Rule ID: DT_JJ_NO_NOUN[1]
Message: Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
...points to the fact that the research is a incomplete. In conclusion, the argument was a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 163, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...stimulation cannot be agreed upon until theres more research which accurately points t...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, still, third, thirdly, well, as to, at least, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2201.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 446.0 441.139720559 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93497757848 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55991074752 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.459641255605 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 689.4 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 22.8473053892 127% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 81.9519100177 57.8364921388 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.733333333 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.7333333333 23.324526521 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86666666667 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157646459783 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0623676758595 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0584529598421 0.0701772020484 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0946870691967 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0419667322197 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.91 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 11.1389221557 122% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.