The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava.
"The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The city of Calatrava is facing some unique challenges over the next couple generations. According to a committee member of Calatrava, the budget for the next ten years can be re-arranged significantly due to population changes. The committee member is preparing to reallocate public school funds and recreational facilities for children to city facilities and programs used by adults, because the birthrate in Calatrava in declining. The committee member is assuming that because birthrates are declining significantly, there will be less children that the city needs to pay for. While there is lots of evidence to support this committee member’s plan, the committee member may also need to consider some different arguments before making a complete informed decision.
First the committee member assumes that the overall town population is not going to continue to grow significantly, but rather just age. If the money is allocated from children funds to adult funds in Calavara, the city must be prepared for a change in population demographics. Evidence shows that birth rates are already dropping by one half of five years ago, but people move in and out of cities often. If the city of Calavara moves the money funds around, the city must commit to a population of adults and not a family-oriented city.
Furthermore, cities without families may start to fade away, because there is no one to take over the jobs as the population continues to age. If other cities are more children and family-oriented people may move away leaving a population decrease even larger than previously assumed. Therefore, it is important for the committee member to realize the significance of supporting the adult population. It may be worth collecting data from the current population to see where the citizens of Calavara would like the money to be invested to ensure that they want to stay and live in Calavara.
Overall the committee member’s budget plan makes sense based solely on the birth-rate evidence and would be beneficial for a temporary 10 year plan, however more data is needed to help prepare for the future. If the money is moved from children funds to adult funds, families may move away and the population will continue to shrink, but if the community decides that they want the funds moved to adult programs it may bring in an older generation and be a community that supports things like retirements, which may also strengthen the committee members conclusion. Regardless, there is data that could strengthen or weaken the committee member’s claim, there for more evidence is needed before the judgement call is made.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 430 350
No. of Characters: 2159 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.554 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.021 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.778 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.111 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.553 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The city of Calatrava is facing some uni...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 541, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun children is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
... declining significantly, there will be less children that the city needs to pay for...
^^^^
Line 1, column 593, Rule ID: THERE_S_MANY[3]
Message: Did you mean 'there are lots'?
Suggestion: there are lots
...n that the city needs to pay for. While there is lots of evidence to support this committee m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...aking a complete informed decision. First the committee member assumes that ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lts and not a family-oriented city. Furthermore, cities without families may...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... want to stay and live in Calavara. Overall the committee member's budg...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 154, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'plan' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'plans'.
Suggestion: plans
...d be beneficial for a temporary 10 year plan, however more data is needed to help pr...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, therefore, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2219.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.16046511628 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91485537 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474418604651 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 718.2 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.3192830684 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.6875 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.875 23.324526521 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6875 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207948909583 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0844784508732 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0638193976466 0.0701772020484 91% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138350786364 0.128457276422 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661835089565 0.0628817314937 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.