The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
The letter from a group of Linford College alumni proposes for art department of the college should make it compulsory for the students to complete and internship with Skyway Designs before graduation. This letter is sent to the chair of the art department of the college with some minute survey results and statistics. However the prediction is contignent upon several questions that must be answered to properly evaluate the validity of the argument.
The first statement of the presented letter documents that 90% of college graduates agree that participating in an internship increases the probability of landing a job. However, the fact that it is a survey and not a statistic makes it unwarranted. The argument needs to include exact statistics which can be easily extracted from college websites. These statistics can include the percentage of people who have done internships out of the people who have got a job. The argument could also present the percentage of people who got an internship and still didnt land a job. Inculsion of these statistics play a crucial role in justifying the survey.
In furtherance, the letter presents that 40% of the students have completed an internship. If the survey included what percent of the internship students have interned from Skuway Designs would have strengthened the claim. The argument mainly focuses afterwards on the Skyway Designs company which raises the doubt, if it's the only company in the city for art students to intern. The absence of the mention of other companies raises the question if this is the only choice for an internship. And if this is the only available company, then is the company prepared to give internship for entire batch.
Finally reiteration of Skyway Designs raises a question on the group of alumni who sent a letter. There's a posibility of this argument being a corporate scam. For instance if the group of alumni who wrote a letter to the chair consists of 50% or more than 50% employees from Skyway Designs or their clients, this could be a way to get more interns, as interns are free labourers in many companies. Hence if the details of the members of the group involved in this claim if mentioned would clarify the intention. Even though it is claimed to offer flexible working hours if the argument could shower some light on the stipend, would help to motivate the students to take the internship rather than making it a compulsion.
In conclusion, despite work experience playing a vital role in student's success after graduation the recommendation of art department requiring all art students to complete internship with Skyway Designs before graduation is rife with unwarranted assumption and open to the questions stated above. These questions must be answered satisfactorily to prove the plausibility of such presentments.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2325 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 5 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 179 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.143 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.397 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.311 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 321, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...e minute survey results and statistics. However the prediction is contignent upon sever...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 557, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... people who got an internship and still didnt land a job. Inculsion of these statisti...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 91, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... students have completed an internship. If the survey included what percent of the...
^^
Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: IT_IS[17]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...igns company which raises the doubt, if its the only company in the city for art st...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...d to give internship for entire batch. Finally reiteration of Skyway Designs raises a ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 98, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: There's
... the group of alumni who sent a letter. Theres a posibility of this argument being a c...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 398, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s are free labourers in many companies. Hence if the details of the members of the gr...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, hence, however, if, so, still, then, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 25.0 16.3942115768 152% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2363.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 465.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08172043011 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84512959288 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460215053763 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.7771934385 57.8364921388 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.523809524 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1428571429 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09523809524 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297650633748 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0870704648129 0.0743258471296 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0973875699532 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16354997144 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0898189864332 0.0628817314937 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.