The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The letter to the head of the tourism bureau recommended the charges for using the beaches in island of Tria. Tourist industry is anxious about erosion of sand along the shore of Tria island. According to them due to charge people for using the beaches, they can raise money for replenishing the sand and preserve beaches as well as the buildings nearby. The argument is not feasible and has different loopholes which makes it weaken.
Moreover, the charges will help to raise fund but it's direct impact will be on number of tourists. I had seen similar scenario in my city. There is a lake where people visit and enjoy there evening which was complete free of cost. After seeing its popularity and beauty city administrator capture the land and converted to chargeable park. Now the number of visitors reduced, and people also found new places to go and enjoy. As well as there are so many natural sites where people can enjoy without and penny. So, this is not perfect idea to take charges from tourist, in spite of it tourism bureau can call people to help cleaning and preserve the sand. In India young college going students have group who go for cleaning of beaches in Mumbai. As the arguer mentioned to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using beaches sounds like the tourist industry want that people should not come on beaches.
Furthermore, with the fund collected from charges of beaches tourist industry want to replenish the sand on the beaches of Tria. The sand erosion caused due to tourist has no solid evidence of research. The industries gave reference of islands of Batia where the replenishing the sand was successful but without getting reason for erosion, we cannot apply same remedy for all. Think for a while the sand eroded due to high tides in sea then the replenishing sand will not help to preserve buildings and beaches. Before taking decision, the tourism bureau should analyses the reason for sand erosion.
Additionally, augment seems appropriate with the proper evidences and researches whereas here the arguer had not a single solid evidence to prove his position. The tourist industry mentioned only one evidence of islands of Batia which is also weaken as mentioned in above discussion. The relishing the sand is very costly and not a permanent solution because again and again they must put sand in beach area. The tourist industry should analyses the reasons for erosion of sand then take appropriate solutions for it.
Finally, the above discussion clarifies the tourist industry gave weak argument which should be rethink by the tourism bureau. The Beaches of Island of Tria are source of tourist attraction for island so the tourism bureau so they have to consider aforementioned points before jumping to solution.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
better not to use external examples.
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2261 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.831 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.403 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.642 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.542 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 625, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to clean' or 'clean'.
Suggestion: to clean; clean
... tourism bureau can call people to help cleaning and preserve the sand. In India young c...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 563, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[2]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'analyse'
Suggestion: analyse
...ing decision, the tourism bureau should analyses the reason for sand erosion. Additi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 244, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'weakened'.
Suggestion: weakened
...dence of islands of Batia which is also weaken as mentioned in above discussion. The r...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 410, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...again they must put sand in beach area. The tourist industry should analyses the re...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, furthermore, if, moreover, so, then, well, whereas, while, as well as, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2311.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93803418803 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.46196410583 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.474358974359 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 714.6 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.6498106055 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 96.2916666667 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 5.70786347227 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.327670905834 0.218282227539 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100579464464 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.105354751725 0.0701772020484 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21238255 0.128457276422 165% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0804410830306 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.