The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the letter from a private school student to the principal of the school, It stated that If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for the school students. The student has come to this conclusion based on complain from the student and several of this friends. However before this conversation can be properly evaluated, two questions must be answered.
First of all, will all the students of the school bring lunch to school? In order words, is it convenient for all the students of the school to bring their lunch to school. It is possible that most of the students relie on the food from the cafeteria of the school. If this scenario has merit, then the conclusion drawn in the original document is weakened.
Secondly, Is the students complain from the low-fat, low-calorie meals served by the private vendor? Perhaps the students complain may be from the customer service of Swift and not the meals, so the students may not be eager to bring their own food, because they may even love the food of the vendor and the complain may just be from some set of students of the school that have problem with the vendor customer service. If the above is true, then the argument does not hold water.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is flawed due to reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the student is able to answer the two questions above and offer more evidence then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation and change the vendor.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 269 350
No. of Characters: 1246 1500
No. of Different Words: 121 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.05 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.632 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.448 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 64 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 16 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.357 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.382 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.122 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 295, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...omplain from the student and several of this friends. However before this conversati...
^^^^
Line 1, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...he student and several of this friends. However before this conversation can be properl...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 304, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ay even love the food of the vendor and the complain may just be from some set of students o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 190, Rule ID: LESS_MORE_THEN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'than'?
Suggestion: than
...questions above and offer more evidence then it will be possible to fully evaluate t...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1278.0 2260.96107784 57% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 269.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75092936803 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.0498419064 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.53539229573 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 130.0 204.123752495 64% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483271375465 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 376.2 705.55239521 53% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 19.7664670659 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.0134474746 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.5 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.4166666667 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.309884601283 0.218282227539 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124479452617 0.0743258471296 167% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.122938304354 0.0701772020484 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.177561550999 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0875777889021 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 48.3550499002 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.57 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 49.0 98.500998004 50% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.