The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The Board of Directors recommend the establishment of café in Monarch Books in order to attract more customers and better compete with its rival – Regal Books. The recommendation was made on the basis of Monarch Books being offering wide selection of books and able to attract more customers as it has a huge customer base. The directors are confident as they think opening a café will enable them to compete with Regal Books that has opened a café recently. Before adopting the directors’ recommendation, several questions need to be asked in order to effectively evaluate the argument.
The first question regards to the correlation between the size of the book selection and the size of customer base in Monarch Books. How do the directors ensure Monarch Books has large customer base even though it offers wide range of book selection? The assumption is fallacious because it was made based on the timeline of operation of Monarch Books and the range of the books it offers. It is possible that throughout the years Monarch Books is doing business with the same customers as Monarch Books is conducting its business at the same location for over twenty years. Hence, the directors need to answer this question by providing a more trustworthy source of information such as customer data that proves the actual amount of customers Monarch Books has.
On the other hand, the directors recommend Monarch Books to release some space for café by seizing the children’s book section. The recommendation was made because the recent national census showed a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten and the directors infer that children’s book will less likely to become popular in future. There arise some questions regarding this report. First, when is the national census being conducted? Second, does the report indicated the number of children under age ten? The word “recent” appeared for the national census is rather equivocal. It does not state which year the national census was conducted and hence is not a reliable source. In addition, the report from the national census only demonstrated the percentage of the population under age ten, whereas percentage is not equal to the number of people. There are many possible reasons that may cause a dropped in the percentage of children under age ten: the increase of population in age groups above ten and the decrease of population in any age group under ten. Factors such as migration, disease, mortality rate will affect the variation of the population of all age groups. Besides, the declination of percentage of population under age ten does not necessarily mean the percentage will continue to drop in future. The change in government policy, advent of newer technology and quality of life in the city will influence the birthrate and possibly increase the child population in future. Apart from that, the directors also correlate the popularity of children books with children, where in fact children books can be read by teenagers and adults too.
The directors go on to assume that Monarch Books can attract more customer with the establishment of café in its store. However, they neglected other possible factors that has actually affect a bookstore’s business. There are various reasons that influence customers’ preferences over a bookstore, such as the price of the books, the ambience and the location of the store. On top of that, the directors thought opening a café in Monarch Books allows it to compete with Regal Books. But do the directors know the traffic and revenue generated in the café of Regal Books? It is possible that the café in Regal Books has low traffic volume and is currently incurring lost. As mention, Regal Books is operating well due to other possible reasons such as price, ambience, location and perhaps customer loyalty. Therefore, it is imprudent to hastily open a café in Monarch Books without conducting a rigorous study on its competitor’s.
In conclusion, the directors need to strengthen their arguments by providing reasonable explanations towards these questions in order to invigorate their recommendation about opening a café in Monarch Books.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. need to argue:
Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers.
argument 2 -- not exactly. need to argue:
Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten
we may say:
1. national census may not work on this location.
2. suppose national census works on this location, but the sales may not decline.
3. suppose the sales are declined, but the book store's main customers are those below 10.
argument 3 -- only need to argue:
Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 685 350
No. of Characters: 3429 1500
No. of Different Words: 267 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.116 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.006 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.694 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 244 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 197 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 143 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 96 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.097 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.416 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.613 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.477 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 325, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...stomers as it has a huge customer base. The directors are confident as they think o...
^^^
Line 5, column 361, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...book will less likely to become popular in future. There arise some questions regarding t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1355, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...an the percentage will continue to drop in future. The change in government policy, adven...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1530, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
... possibly increase the child population in future. Apart from that, the directors also co...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 186, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'affected'.
Suggestion: affected
...ther possible factors that has actually affect a bookstore's business. There are ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, so, then, therefore, well, whereas, apart from, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, such as, on the other hand, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 105.0 55.5748502994 189% => OK
Nominalization: 35.0 16.3942115768 213% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3558.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 686.0 441.139720559 156% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18658892128 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.11777311996 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91131338921 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 285.0 204.123752495 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.415451895044 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1117.8 705.55239521 158% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.628493066 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.774193548 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1290322581 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.70967741935 5.70786347227 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384528267222 0.218282227539 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111886020243 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.113513531326 0.0701772020484 162% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.253115212294 0.128457276422 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.113380670569 0.0628817314937 180% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.