The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author argues here that Monarch book which have been established twenty years ago on the same place should now open a cafe in its store resulting in attracting more customer and better compete with Regal Books. The argument provide poor examples and fails to mention several key factor of which it could be evaluated. The author claim to compete the Regal Book which was the book store and open a café without any ground. Moreover he assert that the store will have less children costumer with the ground that population census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of population under age ten.
First of all, the argument readily assumes that percentage of children customer will be exiguous. Likewise on the basis that the population census of the age below 10 is declining. The author plans to supplant the children books section in the store with the café. The assumption is merely with the solid ground. The argument fails to research the current percentage of children costumer in the store. Moreover if, the children costumer is high on the store it is the serious loss for the Monarch Book because the costumer in café are unlikely to be children and if children costumer are restricted it will surely cause loss.
Second the argument never address that there may be other café around the Monarch book. There might be other Cafe around the Monarch Book with large customer base. And if there will be so then there might be no benefit or profit rather than go in loss regarding the café. So, the Monarch should research about the cafe around it.
Finally, the argument claim that Monarch will attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café. The direct comparison of Regal Books might not be germane without an evidence. The Regal Books might have more costumer that Monarch previously had. The Regal Books might be such place where the costumer might be high. So, it shouldn’t be claim that Monarch will attract more costumer and Regal Books without the concrete evidence.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the author must provide clear concrete evidence, perhaps by way of a detailed analysis of feasibility to establish café in Monarch Book Store. Finally, to better assess the argument, it would be necessary to know more information about percentage of children costumer, the café around the store and Regal Books.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 1996 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.833 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.348 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.773 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.41 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.562 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.121 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 229, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
... compete with Regal Books. The argument provide poor examples and fails to mention seve...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 323, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... factor of which it could be evaluated. The author claim to compete the Regal Book ...
^^^
Line 1, column 427, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...ore and open a café without any ground. Moreover he assert that the store will have less...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 439, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'asserts'.
Suggestion: asserts
... a café without any ground. Moreover he assert that the store will have less children ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 471, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun children is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...over he assert that the store will have less children costumer with the ground that ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 99, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Likewise,
... of children customer will be exiguous. Likewise on the basis that the population census...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 314, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...mption is merely with the solid ground. The argument fails to research the current ...
^^^
Line 3, column 403, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...tage of children costumer in the store. Moreover if, the children costumer is high on th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 311, Rule ID: NOUN_AROUND_IT[1]
Message: Consider using 'the surrounding cafe'?
Suggestion: the surrounding cafe
.... So, the Monarch should research about the cafe around it. Finally, the argument claim that Mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 249, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'costumer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: costumer
...an evidence. The Regal Books might have more costumer that Monarch previously had. The Regal ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 292, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...e costumer that Monarch previously had. The Regal Books might be such place where t...
^^^
Line 7, column 419, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'costumer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: costumer
...os;t be claim that Monarch will attract more costumer and Regal Books without the concrete ev...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 408, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... café around the store and Regal Books.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, if, likewise, may, moreover, regarding, second, so, then, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2071.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 412.0 441.139720559 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02669902913 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50530610838 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4468655949 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.427184466019 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 632.7 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.3248005613 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.1363636364 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.7272727273 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.59090909091 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253064590953 0.218282227539 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0902614332472 0.0743258471296 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0787177671731 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.16189645894 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0402768953587 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.32208582834 86% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.