The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.
"We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But 80 percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In an academic eNviroment, pleasing students and alumni is equally important to embracing land marked standards. IN the passage here, the administrative staff of Grove College, led by the president proposed that the school should not support coeducation. Even though, majority of faculty of members disagrese with this recommendation, they took the significant responses from some students and alumni for cues in their conclusion. However, this argument has too many fundamental flaws, and hence the recommendation would not be accepted at face value by the college’s governing committee.
First of all, to draw the conclusion that the college should remain all-female, the committee relied on the support survey responses of 80% of its students. The arguer made the assumptions that the students here supplied valid responses as possible, and not just to please the president or any other faculty member. Can any good come of survey? Especially one amidst students. Maybe not, but the certainty and truthfulness of the survey is not guaranteed. Hence, this premise in which the conclusion has been based is flawed. In addition, the kinds of students is not clearly state. Were the committee referring to 80% of its first-year students, or that of the penultimate class. BE that as it ma, even the number of these students are not stated. For, a large percentage of just about 30 students represent a diminutive fraction in which an assertion should appropriately be based on. For these reasons, the committee had gotten a sample that is not representative in vouching for the recommendation. The argument might have been more logically convincing, if the presidents had led has team to present detailed responses and even concerns included.
In addition, the argument never addresses reasons the concerns of the most relevant individuals in the faculty were jettisoned. A good number of them supported co-education. After all, the faculty mentioned a good point there. A school that admits both male and female, would attract more male, even more female, therefore, bring progress to the school. The recommendation on the governing commitee’s table would be portrayed as the president been factious, or perhaps, that he and his members are more concerned with keeping some century-old tradition, at the expense of the schools progress. The author need to submit alongside the recommendation, documents containing logically convincing reasons for disregarding the objections of the faculty elders.
Even the author provide these evidences mentioned above, he/she needs his readers to agree that defying the recommendation would spoil the students morale, and make the alumnae withdraw their financial support. Here, the argument assumed that the students and alumni would not agree if the committee take steps on co-education in the college. There is no evidence that states that these set of people cannot agree to suggestions, and open to change. Also there is no evidence that indicated that students retorted in the past, when some of their needs were not met. Likewise, the argument did not mention any instance in which they defiantly withheld their support of the school upon not acknowledging some of their suggestions. The author might want to show the governing council some of these evidences, if any, to further convince them why their recommendation be done and nothing else.
In conclusion, the argument above can not completely sound until the author provide objective responses of all the students, reasons majority of the members be disregarded, and data of former instance where students were dissident and alumni halting their support. Until these documents are provided, so the argument would be acceptable by the committee.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 592 350
No. of Characters: 3077 1500
No. of Different Words: 271 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.933 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.198 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.85 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 227 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 184 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 142 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 91 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.402 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.436 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.089 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 56, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eNviroment, pleasing students and alumni is equally important to embracing land ...
^^
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tudents and alumni is equally important to embracing land marked standards. IN t...
^^
Line 3, column 705, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...enultimate class. BE that as it ma, even the number of these students are not sta...
^^
Line 7, column 140, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...ying the recommendation would spoil the students morale, and make the alumnae withdraw t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 451, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ree to suggestions, and open to change. Also there is no evidence that indicated tha...
^^^^
Line 9, column 337, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ded, so the argument would be acceptable by the committee.
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, likewise, may, regarding, so, therefore, after all, as to, in addition, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3172.0 2260.96107784 140% => OK
No of words: 591.0 441.139720559 134% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36717428088 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93056706295 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95710828241 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 285.0 204.123752495 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.482233502538 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 972.0 705.55239521 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 8.0 1.67365269461 478% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.7112471698 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.733333333 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.7 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.56666666667 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124021495475 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0291048649112 0.0743258471296 39% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0457462350044 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0677673076332 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0401859624231 0.0628817314937 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 153.0 98.500998004 155% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.