The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"Jazz music is extremely popular in the city of Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer, and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight. Also, a number of well-known jazz musicians own homes in Monroe. Nevertheless, the nearest jazz club is over an hour away. Given the popularity of jazz in Monroe and a recent nationwide study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment, a jazz music club in Monroe would be tremendously profitable."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The application for a small buisness loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe states that establishing a jazz night club at Mourne could be profitable because of the popularity of Monroe's annual jazz festival, the ratings of night program 'jazz Nightly' and the homes of jazz musicians being in Monroe. the argument seems to be flawed as it is riddled with 3 assumptions that if proved to be false could render this argument futile.
Firslty, the assumption is made that homes of famous Jazz personalities in the locality would lure these personalities to a Jazz music club, for instance, there are many Hollywood actors living in New York City, but that doesn't mean that these actors will be willing to attend a theatre perfomance, infact they will be busy with their tight schedules that they won't have time to attend theatre. So, as the example of actors, there is a possibility that these jazz players would not want to go to a Jazz night club. If this assumption is false, the argument holds no water.
Secondly, it is assumed that jazz players will stay at their homes. Mnroe could be to Jazz as Monaco is to Formula 1, For instance, majority of the Formula 1 drivers have their houses in Monaco, but they don't live there, they travel across the world, pursuing their careers. Meaning that they have little interaction at Monaco, even though they have their houses there. Same could be extrapolated into Monroe, jazz players could have there houses there but there is no guarentee that they spend considerable time in the city. If this assumption is false, there is no relevance for the number of popular musician's houses being in the city.
Thirdly, it is assumed that the footfall of 100,000 people attending the Monroe's annual jazz festival will be replicated if a jazz music club is opened in the city. This is not true, for instance, going back to the example of Monaco and Formula 1, there is very little craze about Formula 1 in Monaco, but the monaco grand prix, is one of the oldest and prestigious races of the calender, luring people all over the world. This could be the case with Monroe as well, there is a possibility that the majority of the 100,000 footfall was from around the globe and not from Monroe. If this assumption is false, then there is no basis for creating a jazz music club at Monroe.
In conclusion, there are far fetched assumptions on which this arument is based, if accurate evidence to prove these conjecures is not provided, uninterested analysis of this argument would not be possible, and the assertion of establishment of a jazz music club would be rendered absurd.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 12 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2117 1500
No. of Different Words: 191 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.582 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.474 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 33 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 19.982 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.929 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 313, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...omes of jazz musicians being in Monroe. the argument seems to be flawed as it is ri...
^^^
Line 3, column 222, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ctors living in New York City, but that doesnt mean that these actors will be willing ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 205, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...s have their houses in Monaco, but they dont live there, they travel across the worl...
^^^^
Line 7, column 380, Rule ID: CALENDER[1]
Message: Did you mean 'calendar', a system of organizing days? A 'calender' is a machine.
Suggestion: calendar
...the oldest and prestigious races of the calender, luring people all over the world. This...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 523, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ibility that the majority of the 100,000 footfall was from around the globe and n...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, well, for instance, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2173.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 459.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.73420479303 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5224524688 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.43137254902 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 670.5 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 95.1671278448 57.8364921388 165% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.866666667 119.503703932 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.6 23.324526521 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.73333333333 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242217995672 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.089426956341 0.0743258471296 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103473774498 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145135365642 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0956736519366 0.0628817314937 152% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.75 12.5979740519 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.