GRE Argument: An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The statement above presents a recommendation to overcome the vitamin -A deficiency tat plagues the indignants of the impoverished nation of Tagus. It states that a new millet which is high in vitamin A levels has been engineered by an international development organization. Further, it states that subsidies will be allocated to support farmers who cultivate these engineered and expensive millets instead of the conventional millet, grown in Tagus. The recommendation assumes that the citizens will readily adopt the new variety as millet is considered a staple food in Tagus. The statement finally, asks the government of this impoverished nation to lend full support to combat the scarcity of vitamin A by promoting the newly engineered millet. While the recommendation seems to be an appropriate solution to the problem faced by the people of Tagus, it does not give adequate explanations or evidence to support its claim. Further the recommendation assumes that the people of Tagus will readily adopt the newly bred millets, which could severely undermine its stance , if not provided evidence.
To begin with, the recommendation states that the newly bred millet is high in vitamin A. The term high is quite vague in the context. Adequate information must be presented what is the exact amount of vitamin A that it supplements. It is a possible scenario, that the newly bred millet is only supplements an amount slight higher than the native millet. In such as case, the newly bred millet will be an additional burden on the citizens of Tagus, especially when it comes of cost. On the other hand, there is a possibility that the amount of vitamin A supplemented is quite high that could help the people of Tagus, inspite its cost.Therefore, accurate measurements should bbe provided to substatiate the recommendation. Similary, additional nutritional facts should be rovided to ensure that other vitains and nutrients were not sacrificed in order to achieve higher Vitamin A levels. This will make the newly bred millet authentic and reliable.
Secondly, the recommendation states that subsidies will be provided to farmers cultivating the new crop. This again seems quite vague as additional information on what , how and when are subsidies going to be provided. The nation of Tagus faces from both poverty and vitamin A deficinecy. For instance, if thhe subsidies provided are not that effective in negating the financial issue faced by farmers to buy new millets, it could turn to be a huge problem for the organization. Therefore, additional information on the subsidies should be provided to bolster its claim.
Finally, the statement assumes on the important fact that could seriously, undermine its stance: “People of Tagus will readily adopt the new crop”. This assumption states that the organization has not done deliberate studies o the people of Tgaus while bringing out the recommendation. There is a high possibility that people cannot adopt it at all or adopt the illet at slow pace. While the former could backfire the organization to a large extent, te latter can make the organization to be stultified by weak profits and usage. Both of these situations harm the organization and the people of Tagus in a severe manner, that could make the recommendation inadequate and insuffiecient to garner support from the government. Exteensive studies must be conducted by the organization to understand how people could adopt the new millet especially when it is quite different from the traditional, home grown ones. These studies could provide a better understanding and could bolster te claim of the recommendation.
To conclude, the recommendation while seems to be the solution of the vitamin A deficiency faced by the people of Tagus, a further analysis could seriously undermine its stance. Various supporting evidences and studies must be conducted before appealing the government to support the newly bred millets. These include the exact amount of vitamin A , and the information pertaiing to subsidies provided. Similarly, extensive studies must be presented on how people will adopt to the new millet.These details add validity and makes the recommendation credible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: On the other hand, there is a possibility that the amount of vitamin A supplemented is quite high that could help the people of Tagus, inspite its cost.Therefore, accurate measurements should bbe provided to substatiate the recommendation.
Error: substatiate Suggestion: substantiate
Error: inspite Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: bbe Suggestion: bee
Error: vitamin Suggestion: vital
Sentence: Similary, additional nutritional facts should be rovided to ensure that other vitains and nutrients were not sacrificed in order to achieve higher Vitamin A levels.
Error: nutritional Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: vitains Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: rovided Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The nation of Tagus faces from both poverty and vitamin A deficinecy.
Error: vitamin Suggestion: vital
Error: deficinecy Suggestion: deficiency
Sentence: For instance, if thhe subsidies provided are not that effective in negating the financial issue faced by farmers to buy new millets, it could turn to be a huge problem for the organization.
Error: thhe Suggestion: than
Sentence: Finally, the statement assumes on the important fact that could seriously, undermine its stance: People of Tagus will readily adopt the new crop.
Error: stance Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: There is a high possibility that people cannot adopt it at all or adopt the illet at slow pace.
Error: illet Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: While the former could backfire the organization to a large extent, te latter can make the organization to be stultified by weak profits and usage.
Error: backfire Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: stultified Suggestion: stratified
Error: te Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Both of these situations harm the organization and the people of Tagus in a severe manner, that could make the recommendation inadequate and insuffiecient to garner support from the government.
Error: insuffiecient Suggestion: insufficient
Sentence: These studies could provide a better understanding and could bolster te claim of the recommendation.
Error: te Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: To conclude, the recommendation while seems to be the solution of the vitamin A deficiency faced by the people of Tagus, a further analysis could seriously undermine its stance.
Error: vitamin Suggestion: vital
Error: stance Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: These include the exact amount of vitamin A , and the information pertaiing to subsidies provided.
Error: vitamin Suggestion: vital
Error: pertaiing Suggestion: pertaining
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argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
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flaws:
the introduction is too long.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 18 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 672 350
No. of Characters: 3455 1500
No. of Different Words: 251 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.091 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.141 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.992 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 250 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 192 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 136 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 103 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.422 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.467 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.449 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A level' or simply 'levels'?
Suggestion: A level; Levels
...t a new millet which is high in vitamin A levels has been engineered by an international...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 1074, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hich could severely undermine its stance , if not provided evidence. To begin w...
^^
Line 3, column 636, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...p the people of Tagus, inspite its cost.Therefore, accurate measurements should bbe provi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 879, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A level' or simply 'levels'?
Suggestion: A level; Levels
...iced in order to achieve higher Vitamin A levels. This will make the newly bred millet a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 148, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is again seems quite vague as additional information on what , how and when are s...
^^
Line 5, column 169, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...vague as additional information on what , how and when are subsidies going to be ...
^^
Line 5, column 551, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tion on the subsidies should be provided to bolster its claim. Finally, the stat...
^^
Line 6, column 256, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...deliberate studies o the people of Tgaus while bringing out the recommendation. T...
^^
Line 6, column 612, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a severe manner" with adverb for "severe"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...he organization and the people of Tagus in a severe manner, that could make the recommendation ina...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eems to be the solution of the vitamin A deficiency faced by the people of Tagus,...
^^
Line 8, column 349, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...se include the exact amount of vitamin A , and the information pertaiing to subsid...
^^
Line 8, column 472, Rule ID: ADOPT_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'adapt to'?
Suggestion: adapt to
...es must be presented on how people will adopt to the new millet.These details add validi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 496, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: These
...how people will adopt to the new millet.These details add validity and makes the reco...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, if, second, secondly, similarly, so, then, therefore, while, for instance, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 27.0 12.9520958084 208% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 13.6137724551 162% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 55.5748502994 139% => OK
Nominalization: 36.0 16.3942115768 220% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3545.0 2260.96107784 157% => OK
No of words: 670.0 441.139720559 152% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29104477612 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.08766726615 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1173281844 2.78398813304 112% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.385074626866 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1138.5 705.55239521 161% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.6971890266 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.35483871 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6129032258 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.03225806452 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300194969803 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0928054153648 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0756642155934 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184190744927 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0864318244871 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.4 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 149.0 98.500998004 151% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.