Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been weari

Essay topics:

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee, pads etc) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark, wrists pads etc). Clearly the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.

The passage concludes that according to hospital statistics people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need of proactive equipment. In order to support this author has come up with certain evidences, however on a deeper scrutiny it is reveled that none of the evidences lend credible support to the conclusion let us scrutinize them further.

Firstly authors talks about 75 percent of peoples who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any proactive clothing or any light reflecting material, however author ignores the fact that accident occur on day time or night, streets and parking lots have traffic or empty, also light reflecting material are needed by the persons where motorists are more for the indication of roller skaters, and for proactive gear author unnecessary ignores that the cause of accident is another roller-skater or a motorist or a natural calamity, because it is unclear that the accident happens only to those who are not wearing all this or both.

Secondly authors talks about that it is clear by the statistics that high quality proactive gear and reflective equipment roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured however authors ignores the fact that reflective equipment are used to indicate others where their is a traffic, mostly if a person who are safety conscious did not skate at traffic areas, streets and parking lots are not the right place for skating skaters must skate at park or back yards, other for proactive gears are mostly used by those skaters who skate dangerously or made stunt with them so it may be there natural caution.

Moreover the statistics does not come with conclusion that safety gear prevents sever injuries. The conclusion suggest that it is presumed that people come in injure room only with sever injuries, also skating is are recreational activity that may be engaged in during evenings and weekends when doctors offices are closed, skaters with less sever injuries may likely to come to the emergency room for treatment.

Last but not the least author did not cover the fact for high quality gear because it is ignored that a white shirt on night reflects more and easily catch able from far away then expensive light emitting gear. Before skaters are encouraged to invest in heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.

Overall the argument is far from forceful enough to persuade the roller skaters should invest in proactive gear and reflective equipment in order to reduce their risk. Much work is left for the author in order to make a logical and cogent decision on safety gears used by roller-skaters.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 237, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...thor has come up with certain evidences, however on a deeper scrutiny it is revel...
^^
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...parking lots have traffic or empty, also light reflecting material are needed by ...
^^
Line 5, column 288, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...pment are used to indicate others where their is a traffic, mostly if a person who ar...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
... so it may be there natural caution. Moreover the statistics does not come with concl...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 112, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'suggests'.
Suggestion: suggests
...prevents sever injuries. The conclusion suggest that it is presumed that people come in...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 161, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ight reflects more and easily catch able from far away then expensive light emitt...
^^
Line 11, column 112, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... skaters should invest in proactive gear and reflective equipment in order to red...
^^

Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'moreover', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'then']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.266247379455 0.25644967241 104% => OK
Verbs: 0.188679245283 0.15541462614 121% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0880503144654 0.0836205057962 105% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0691823899371 0.0520304965353 133% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0251572327044 0.0272364105082 92% => OK
Prepositions: 0.129979035639 0.125424944231 104% => OK
Participles: 0.0607966457023 0.0416121511921 146% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.5596102982 2.79052419416 92% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0251572327044 0.026700313972 94% => OK
Particles: 0.0020964360587 0.001811407834 116% => OK
Determiners: 0.0796645702306 0.113004496875 70% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0146750524109 0.0255425247493 57% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.020964360587 0.0127820249294 164% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2753.0 2731.13054187 101% => OK
No of words: 455.0 446.07635468 102% => OK
Chars per words: 6.05054945055 6.12365571057 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61852021839 4.57801047555 101% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.382417582418 0.378187486979 101% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.303296703297 0.287650121315 105% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.178021978022 0.208842608468 85% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.105494505495 0.135150697306 78% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5596102982 2.79052419416 92% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 207.018472906 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.49010989011 0.469332199767 104% => OK
Word variations: 55.5305124348 52.1807786196 106% => OK
How many sentences: 10.0 20.039408867 50% => More sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 45.5 23.2022227129 196% => Sentence lengths are too long.
Sentence length SD: 192.103852122 57.7814097925 332% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 275.3 141.986410481 194% => Less chars per sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 45.5 23.2022227129 196% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 1.2 0.724660767414 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 3.58251231527 195% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 75.8296703297 51.9672348444 146% => OK
Elegance: 1.61481481481 1.8405768891 88% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.414355443472 0.441005458295 94% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.181069225728 0.135418324435 134% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.104447001795 0.0829849096947 126% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.782617350102 0.58762219726 133% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.142950980292 0.147661913831 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.19275712468 0.193483328276 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.131734306345 0.0970749176394 136% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.278502528356 0.42659136922 65% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0639146983625 0.0774707102158 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.232476891449 0.312017818177 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0903353581821 0.0698173142475 129% => OK

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.33743842365 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.87684729064 44% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.82512315271 0% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 3.0 5.36822660099 56% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.82389162562 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 9.0 14.657635468 61% => OK

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Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations to cover all aspects.