An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The argument claims that an engineered new breed of millet would be the solution to vitamin A deficiency among the people of Tagus. Stated in this way, it fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which this could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence.Hence the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.
First the argument readily assumes that this new breed of millet is the cure for vitamin A deficiency based on no study. How did the international organisation come to this conclusion. This makes the above statement an unjustified claim. Clearly no study has been conducted and even though a study has been conducted, it was not stated in the passage. The argument would have been much clearer if it explicitly stated that proper study and research was done and shows the evidence that links this new breed of millet to improved vitamin A efficiency among the nation of Tagus.
Second the argument claims that since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people would readily adopt this new variety. This is again weak and unsupported claim as the argument does not have enough evidence to make this claim. For example, it is possible that the people of Tagus may not like this engineered breed of millet as it tastes different from what they are used to, or some people do not eat or even like millet. What happens to this category of people? One cannot conclude that people that fall in the category mentioned above would readily adopt the new variety. Perhaps if the argument had done a study using a control group to determine the above assumption, then the argument would have been a lot more convincing.
Finally, the author concludes that the government should do all they can to promote this new type of millet. This leads to ask the question, What is their motive? Is election year coming and the government needs materials for propaganda or is the international organisation seeking to improve profits? Without convincing answers to these questions, one is left with the impression that the claim is more wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts and proper study was done to show a correlation between this millet type and vitamin A deficiency reduction.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. need to argue this:
While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 414 350
No. of Characters: 2010 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.511 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.595 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.7 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.615 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.05 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 84, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...breed of millet would be the solution to vitamin A deficiency among the people of...
^^
Line 1, column 332, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Hence
...ns for which there is no clear evidence.Hence the argument is unconvincing and has se...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 332, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ns for which there is no clear evidence.Hence the argument is unconvincing and has se...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ly adopt this new variety. This is again weak and unsupported claim as the argume...
^^
Line 7, column 124, Rule ID: ASK_THE_QUESTION[1]
Message: Use simply 'ask' instead.
Suggestion: ask
... this new type of millet. This leads to ask the question, What is their motive? Is election year...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, hence, if, may, second, so, then, therefore, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2060.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98789346247 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70490502728 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.464891041162 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 646.2 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0877063292 57.8364921388 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.0 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.65 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.70786347227 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.341481761957 0.218282227539 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112051223869 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.109066437674 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203411797203 0.128457276422 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.055913292271 0.0628817314937 89% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.07 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.