An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
The author proposes that an international development organisation has engineered a new brand of millet that has high source of vitamin A should be promoted by the government at all expenses because people at Tagus have deficiency of vitamin A.
For the above proposal author has also provided us with certain evidences which on deeper scrutiny is revealed that none of the evidence land credible support to the idea proposed by the author.
hence, lets scrutinize them further.
Firstly, the author unnecessarily assumes that the people in Tagus are suffering from vitamin A deficiency which can be removed by increasing vitamin A in their staple diet. This assumption made by author is unwarranted as there is no data or survey provided to prove that all the people in Tagus are suffering from this deficiency as there could be possibility that the deficiency is only among few people or there can be chances that the deficiency of vitamin A occurred only for a certain period of time.hence, the author should have considered to provide us with a proper record that shows us the deficiency of vitamin A is a major problem in Tagus.
Secondly, if even we consider the above statement to be right the author next claims that the new breed of millet that is engineered by the organisation is high in vitamin A and this claim made by the author is again not supported with any kind of information which can make it plausible that the millet used at present are low in vitamin A and the new millet are higher in vitamin in comparison.This claim is made without any details provided to consider the comparison to be applicable.hence this evidence give by the author is of little help.
Thirdly, the author states that the new millet seeds are comparatively higher in cost hence the farmers will be paid subsides for farming the millet.The author does not provide any information about whether the farmers land are good enough to produce the new millet as there are possibilities that the new millet need a proper climate condition that may not be available in Tagus and also the author does not consider that there can be possibility that there is no available land that can produce sufficient amount of new millet to full fill the need of the population hence this evidence is not of any use as well.
Lastly the author claims that as the Tagus populations staple diet is millet they will readily adopt the new variety of millet produced.The author does not provide any information of the cost difference in the old millet and the new millet and also does not provide any survey that provides us credible information that the people living in Tagus are ready to adopt the new millet and are comfortable with its production.
Therefore the conclusion provided by the author that the government should do everything to promote the new millet is not acceptable as if the author wants the idea to be promoted he should provide us with credible and surveyed information to make this conclusion plausible for now the argument is weakened.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 524 350
No. of Characters: 2486 1500
No. of Different Words: 192 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.784 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.664 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.636 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 30.104 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.445 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.856 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.269 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Hence
...t to the idea proposed by the author. hence, lets scrutinize them further. Fir...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 493, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...f vitamin A occurred only for a certain period of time.hence, the author should have considere...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 538, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[3]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'considered providing'.
Suggestion: considered providing
...d of time.hence, the author should have considered to provide us with a proper record that shows us t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 397, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...let are higher in vitamin in comparison.This claim is made without any details provi...
^^^^
Line 17, column 150, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...be paid subsides for farming the millet.The author does not provide any information...
^^^
Line 21, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...dopt the new variety of millet produced.The author does not provide any information...
^^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...e comfortable with its production. Therefore the conclusion provided by the author t...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, hence, if, lastly, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, well, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 19.6327345309 173% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2538.0 2260.96107784 112% => OK
No of words: 521.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87140115163 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74181288223 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.37236084453 0.468620217663 79% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 828.9 705.55239521 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 9.0 19.7664670659 46% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 57.0 22.8473053892 249% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 181.11472389 57.8364921388 313% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 282.0 119.503703932 236% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 57.8888888889 23.324526521 248% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 12.0 5.70786347227 210% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.384723084741 0.218282227539 176% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.176758733358 0.0743258471296 238% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11052877061 0.0701772020484 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180469902286 0.128457276422 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.11833456703 0.0628817314937 188% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.5 14.3799401198 212% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 13.62 48.3550499002 28% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 25.5 12.197005988 209% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.04 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 24.8 11.1389221557 223% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.