An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
It might be true that there can be a deficiency of vitamin A among impoverished nation of Tagus, but the claim that is explaining the above statement is not strong enough. Many things have been assumed in the argument that are untrue and rife with holes and thus, can not make the government fully agree to the promotion of new type of millet.
The author first talks about the international development organization, who is planning to reduce vitamin A deficiency in impoverished nation of Tagus . This claim seems wrong that is the organisation really aiming towards the reduction of vitamin A deficiency . in an impoverished nation there are several other health issues that need to be addressed, other than this. And why the organisation is focusing only on Tagus , there must be some other nations as well . The author was supposed to give a specific reason on why Tagus was only chosen only for the attention by the organization and why only this health issue is being addressed .
The claim given by the author is that the new variety of millet costs more, due to which farmers will be paid subsidies by the government . This step is totally against the development of the country . Firstly in a poor nation, grains or products with high prices should not be sold . The subsidy will benefit only the farmers but not the common people . Common people have to pay high prices for the crops . Above all, subsidy given to farmers will lead to reduction in the fund of government, which will slow down the economy of the country . This whole process will over all contribute to negative growth of the country .The author is again taking an assumption that people will readily accept the new variety of millet, as it is already a part of their staple diet . But we should think that if some grain or food is already included in the diet of the people , why would they want to purchase a new one and that too, high priced .
If the new produced variety of millets would have low price , it would have been accepted by the people .Also if it this initiative would have been taken by not only a single country , but by some more countries of that continent , then this new crop would have been in a better position in the market for selling purposes . Also, if the international organisation would have planned for some other crop , then this argument would have been a little bit more strong in a positive way. People would have readily accepted some new crop in their diet .
The initiative taken by the international organisation of reducing vitamin A deficiency in the impoverished nation of Tagus is very nice and if implemented , would actually lead to the betterment of the people of that country . But the reasoning presented by the author is not strong enough to make the government of that country believe that this step would be beneficial for them and their citizens , if implemented in a successful way .
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 507 350
No. of Characters: 2340 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.745 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.615 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.684 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.243 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.632 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 111, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...overished nation of Tagus, but the claim that is explaining the above statement i...
^^
Line 5, column 152, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ficiency in impoverished nation of Tagus . This claim seems wrong that is the orga...
^^
Line 5, column 262, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ds the reduction of vitamin A deficiency . in an impoverished nation there are sev...
^^
Line 5, column 265, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...the reduction of vitamin A deficiency . in an impoverished nation there are severa...
^^
Line 5, column 423, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e organisation is focusing only on Tagus , there must be some other nations as wel...
^^
Line 5, column 466, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...there must be some other nations as well . The author was supposed to give a speci...
^^
Line 5, column 640, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...nly this health issue is being addressed . The claim given by the author i...
^^
Line 5, column 643, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... this health issue is being addressed . The claim given by the author is that t...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 4, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...th issue is being addressed . The claim given by the author is that the ne...
^^
Line 9, column 139, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...will be paid subsidies by the government . This step is totally against the develo...
^^
Line 9, column 201, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...y against the development of the country . Firstly in a poor nation, grains or pro...
^^
Line 9, column 284, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ucts with high prices should not be sold . The subsidy will benefit only the farme...
^^
Line 9, column 354, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ly the farmers but not the common people . Common people have to pay high prices f...
^^
Line 9, column 408, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...le have to pay high prices for the crops . Above all, subsidy given to farmers wil...
^^
Line 9, column 544, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ill slow down the economy of the country . This whole process will over all contri...
^^
Line 9, column 624, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ribute to negative growth of the country .The author is again taking an assumption...
^^
Line 9, column 626, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...bute to negative growth of the country .The author is again taking an assumption th...
^^^
Line 9, column 770, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t is already a part of their staple diet . But we should think that if some grain ...
^^
Line 9, column 865, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ready included in the diet of the people , why would they want to purchase a new o...
^^
Line 9, column 935, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...hase a new one and that too, high priced . If the new produced variety of mi...
^^
Line 13, column 60, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... variety of millets would have low price , it would have been accepted by the peop...
^^
Line 13, column 104, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...t would have been accepted by the people .Also if it this initiative would have be...
^^
Line 13, column 106, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Also
...would have been accepted by the people .Also if it this initiative would have been t...
^^^^
Line 13, column 106, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...would have been accepted by the people .Also if it this initiative would have been t...
^^^^
Line 13, column 183, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... been taken by not only a single country , but by some more countries of that cont...
^^
Line 13, column 230, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...by some more countries of that continent , then this new crop would have been in a...
^^
Line 13, column 323, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ition in the market for selling purposes . Also, if the international organisation...
^^
Line 13, column 366, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had planned'?
Suggestion: had planned
...Also, if the international organisation would have planned for some other crop , then this argumen...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 404, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...n would have planned for some other crop , then this argument would have been a li...
^^
Line 13, column 444, Rule ID: LITTLE_BIT[1]
Message: Reduce redundancy by using 'little' or 'bit'.
Suggestion: little; bit
... , then this argument would have been a little bit more strong in a positive way. People ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 467, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ould have been a little bit more strong in a positive way. People would have readily accepted som...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 469, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ld have been a little bit more strong in a positive way. People would have readil...
^^
Line 13, column 549, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ily accepted some new crop in their diet . The initiative taken by the inter...
^^
Line 17, column 75, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ational organisation of reducing vitamin A deficiency in the impoverished nation...
^^
Line 17, column 78, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...onal organisation of reducing vitamin A deficiency in the impoverished nation of...
^^
Line 17, column 158, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...of Tagus is very nice and if implemented , would actually lead to the betterment o...
^^
Line 17, column 228, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...betterment of the people of that country . But the reasoning presented by the auth...
^^
Line 17, column 403, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...e beneficial for them and their citizens , if implemented in a successful way . ...
^^
Line 17, column 421, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a successful way" with adverb for "successful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...hem and their citizens , if implemented in a successful way .
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 440, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ens , if implemented in a successful way .
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, if, really, so, then, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2411.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 507.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.75542406312 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59893283038 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414201183432 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 754.2 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.0382540047 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.55 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.35 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.45 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 40.0 5.25449101796 761% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37521146848 0.218282227539 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119854863773 0.0743258471296 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0573742268519 0.0701772020484 82% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.20301596571 0.128457276422 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552443586147 0.0628817314937 88% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.56 48.3550499002 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.62 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.37 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 80.0 98.500998004 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.