"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
While a jazz music club in the town of Monroe might be a profitable enterprise, the authors argument does not make a cogent case for a business loan based on the given information. In the argument the author not only draws a conclusion based on vague and ambiguous terms, but makes sweeping generalizations based on a small amount of data. Furthermore, the author makes a mistake of focusing on the demand for jazz on the radio while ignoring the supply of other types of music. For these reasons and more, the argument is not strong enough to convince money loaners to invest in the developer’s jazz enterprise.
First, the author claims that jazz is extremely popular in Monroe by stating that over 100,000 people attended Monroe’s annual jazz festival last summer. This conclusion has a number of problems. First, the author seems to be assuming that if a large number of people attended the jazz festival in Monroe, then jazz is an extremely popular genre with the residents, this however, does not have to be true. In order for this assumption to hold water, we would need additional information regarding who attended the festival, average attendance for jazz festivals in general and the population size of Monroe. For example, if we were to find out that out of the 100,000 people who attended the festival none were residents of Monroe, then the author adding this specific statement is irrelevant to his argument. Moreover, if we were to receive data regarding jazz festivals in general only to find that, in average jazz festivals attract a much larger amount of people then 100,000, then we could claim that Monroe’s jazz festival was not successful at all and thus that the authors argument is faulty.
Additionally, the author implies that jazz is very popular in Monroe stating that the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. While the highest rated radio program in town would likely be as a result of high popularity for the genre of music on that program, a concrete connection between jazz popularity within Monroe residents and radio statistics is not effectively made. To refute this statement, we could add on additional evidence showing that Monroe residents typically listen to radio on their drive home from work around 7 P.M. If such evidence was presented, then the high rates Jazz Nightly received is not caused by the popularity of jazz, but rather by the high numbers of listeners at that specific time of the day.
Investment in small businesses and cultural endeavors can often enhance a city’s value and add quality to residents’ lives. For these reasons, city officials might wish to help out small businesses with loans and marketing. However, this authors argument is not likely to significantly persuade the city accept their application for a small business loan in order to open a jazz club.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
some arguments lost, like:
Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself.
......
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2355 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.846 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.579 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.382 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.363 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.167 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e might be a profitable enterprise, the authors argument does not make a cogent case fo...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 249, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...the author seems to be assuming that if a large number of people attended the jazz festival in Mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1084, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...not successful at all and thus that the authors argument is faulty. Additionally, t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, regarding, so, then, thus, while, for example, in general, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2434.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00823045267 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77028405442 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.458847736626 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 758.7 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 32.0 22.8473053892 140% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 95.3222371165 57.8364921388 165% => OK
Chars per sentence: 162.266666667 119.503703932 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 32.4 23.324526521 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86666666667 5.70786347227 138% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.275534589161 0.218282227539 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100801008005 0.0743258471296 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789118527524 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157793470389 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0544185636375 0.0628817314937 87% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.4 14.3799401198 128% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.0 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.197005988 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.37 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.67 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.8 11.1389221557 133% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.