The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president."In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Int

Essay topics:

The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted

While it may be true that implementing electronic monitoring of employee’s internet use may improve employee’s productivity, this authors argument does not make a cogent case for increased employee surveillance to improve overall productivity and profits. Even though the correlation’s stated in the argument are probable, the authors case is full of rife assumptions and hole thus, the argument is not strong enough to lead to any real conclusions.

First, the author concludes that a sufficient amount of work hours are being spent on personal and recreational activities such as shopping or playing games. The underlying assumption here is that such a problem actually exists and thus needs to be fixed. However, the author does not give sufficient amount of information showing that a large amount of hours have been spent on personal internet usage. To strengthen his argument the author would t need to show that such a problem actually exists and thus needs to be fixed.

Building from this assumption, the author implies that this problem affects the overall work ethic and profits of the company. Though personal use of the internet may be a waste of work hours, it cannot be assumed that it brings down the workers work ethics. For example, it may be true that when workers take a number of breaks a day to use for personal matters, they become more efficient in the house they spend on work related issues. Without this information we cannot conclude that lowering personal usage of the internet will change the work ethic for the better. Moreover, the author makes a connection between lowering personal use of the internet a gaining in profits. Even if surveilling the workers would make them work more hours on work related issues, a concrete connection between this and an increase in profits cannot be made. The author may strengthen his argument if he can show that more hours spent on work will raise the profits of the company. He could do this by doing research on similar companies.

Additionally, the author believes that the right way to deal with this problem is so penalize the workers and implement electronic monitoring systems. However, this solution could actually make the problem worse. Penalizing workers could lower work ethic and thus lower profits. Without any way of knowing how this would effect the workers emotional state and work ethic we cannot assume that this solution will bring to higher profits in the company.

Although it may be true that personal usage of the internet is lowering the company’s profits, we cannot assume that this actually with true with no concrete empirical evidence, Furthermore, the author does not give a sufficient amount of information to persuade us that the best solution to this supposed problem would be to penalize employees and monitoring their work.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 323, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...thout any way of knowing how this would effect the workers emotional state and work et...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 350, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d problem would be to penalize employees and monitoring their work.
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, while, for example, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2396.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.11965811966 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77462345559 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.412393162393 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 727.2 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 72.6007562364 57.8364921388 126% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.105263158 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6315789474 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.31578947368 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0567203946265 0.218282227539 26% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0189398640873 0.0743258471296 25% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0423225024198 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0464063783302 0.128457276422 36% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.044995833036 0.0628817314937 72% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.0 14.3799401198 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.