In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
In a memorandum, the owner of Movies Galore rental stores concludes that in order to increase profits, they must reduce operating expenses by eliminating movies released before five years ago and closing the store early. This conclusion is based on the fact that downtown Marston store of that chain has also reduced the expenses by implementing similar changes. The stated argument is full of flaws and requires three questions to be answered before considering it as veracious.
Firstly, what is the relation between store’s expenses and profits? In the argument there is no relation is given to imply that by reducing the expenses, the profits will rise commensurately. It can be the case, that reducing expenses will lead to poor service which in turn will lead to further decrease in sales and ultimately leading to more loss. Thus, this question need to be answered which clearly states whether expense is directly proportional to or inversly proportional to profit.
Secondly, are condition in all ten stores the same? It is stated that downtown Marston store has reduced its expenses by closing at 6:00 PM. It can be the case that some stores are in city center, which requires stores to be closed at midnight as huge customers go for shopping after their jobs. Also, it can be the case that some stores are located in countryside so increase or decreasing store time will not help at all.
Thirdly, do customers like new movies? It is mentioned in the memo that by eliminating all the movies which released before five years ago will increase profit. It can be the case, that stores are located in a locality where there are only elderly people who prefer classic movies. In this case getting rid of those movies will surely not help at all.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is full flawed and required some questions to be answered before it can be taken seriously. If author fails to answer those question then the argument becomes invalid for this case.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1607 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.74 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.493 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.368 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.568 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.06 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed before considering it as veracious. Firstly, what is the relation between st...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...o or inversly proportional to profit. Secondly, are condition in all ten store...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...asing store time will not help at all. Thirdly, do customers like new movies? I...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...se movies will surely not help at all. In conclusion, the argument as it stands...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1647.0 2260.96107784 73% => OK
No of words: 338.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87278106509 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55432382797 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502958579882 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 527.4 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.4318461445 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.8823529412 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8823529412 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.23529411765 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.145740365205 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0558678671934 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0447195508689 0.0701772020484 64% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.086246725886 0.128457276422 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0457259428442 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.