Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies.
The recommendation provided states that the Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. This is based on the argument that of all the schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, has teachers who have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies in the world and has students who have gone on to become professional dancers with top dance companies. In order to agree of disagree with the recommendation, there are a number of factors that need to be taken into consideration.
The author has failed to quantify any of the statements that hes has provided as a part of the argument. Data around these statements would help us evaluate the recommendation. When the author states 'Of all the dance schools in Elmtown', we need to understand how many dance schools are operational in Elmtown and how many of these dance schools specialize in Ballet as a dance form. When the author mentions that 'our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies', we need to understand what proportion of the teachers is the author referring to. Again, when stating that 'Many of our students have gone to become professional dancers with top dance companies', what is the proportion of students that have gone on to become professional dancers as compared to the entire batch of students studying dance there. Also the author hasnt clearly stated the dance companies students get into are the best at what level, across the world or across the country or across Elmdale.
There are multiple other factors that have not been stated in a cogent manner such as when the author mentions that Pirouettes has the most intensive program, what exactly is the program inclusive of. Is it intensive based on the number of hours of training, based on the exposure of the students to training from different ballet companies in the world, based on the methods of evaluation and so on. It would important to consider what batch size is being trained every year by the school and what is the process of admission to the school. Another key factor would be to understand what are the dancing abilities of students who are being brought into the school. Whether the school has the ability to bring in novice dancers and train them to become professional dancers or the students who join the school have some sort of training in advance.
It would be crucial to understand what is the source of information for the author. Most of the schools or university make specious claims to seek admissions to their schools. A credible source would be to seek feedback from the students who have been a part of the school. Understand what their experience has been, how much has the school contributed to their growth and success and whether they would recommend this school will help contribute to evaluating the recommendation by the author
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 14 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 485 350
No. of Characters: 2329 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.693 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.802 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 166 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.944 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.217 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.36 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.13 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 62, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: he's
... to quantify any of the statements that hes has provided as a part of the argument....
^^^
Line 3, column 826, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...batch of students studying dance there. Also the author hasnt clearly stated the dan...
^^^^
Line 3, column 842, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hasn't
...s studying dance there. Also the author hasnt clearly stated the dance companies stud...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 60, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a cogent manner" with adverb for "cogent"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...other factors that have not been stated in a cogent manner such as when the author mentions that P...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 490, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s being trained every year by the school and what is the process of admission to ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, sort of, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.3162921348 159% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 78.0 58.6224719101 133% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2370.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 485.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88659793814 5.05705443957 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68548766133 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.381443298969 0.4932671777 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 713.7 704.065955056 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.741711826 60.3974514979 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.666666667 118.986275619 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9444444444 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.94444444444 5.21951772744 37% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.451880481518 0.243740707755 185% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.140755196245 0.0831039109588 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129263624149 0.0758088955206 171% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.307818032827 0.150359130593 205% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.153319725825 0.0667264976115 230% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.1392134831 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.8420337079 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.1743820225 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 11.8971910112 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.