A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring
The given text argues about the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. This text makes several unsubstantiated assumptions that might not hold true. These are discussed below.
The study was done on eighteen rhesus monkeys. Eighteen is too small a sample size to make claims about scientific phenomena. Scientific experiments deal with larger sample sizes to discount random irrelevant effects that might affect the observed outcome of the experiment. It is possible that some other factor, say an environmental factor, caused such the observed behavior in the eighteen rhesus monkeys.
The text also gives the example of first-born humans producing higher levels of cortisol in stimulating situations. However, we must note that humans are not the same as monkeys. They are close species in the evolutionary tree, but this does not imply that one could use the observation of an experiment on humans as a case for monkeys. The higher stimulus could well be because of a more emotionally rounded upbringing rather than the birth order.
The given text also mentions the case of first-time mother monkeys having higher levels of cortisol than those who had had several offspring before. It is not mentioned how many such monkeys were observed in these experiments. Moreover, even if this observation holds true for first-time mother monkeys compared to those who had had several offspring before, this has no bearing whatsoever on the claim that birth order affects the offspring's levels of stimulation.
In closing, I think the claim is flawed for several reasons like small sample size in experiments and the fallacy of comparing uncomparable entities. I believe there would be other explanations that can account for the stated facts.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 282 350
No. of Characters: 1455 1500
No. of Different Words: 158 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.098 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.16 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.724 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 77 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.991 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.438 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.582 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 116, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...igher levels of cortisol than those who had had several offspring before. It is not men...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 326, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
...me mother monkeys compared to those who had had several offspring before, this has no b...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, so, well, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 55.5748502994 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1500.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 282.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.31914893617 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09790868904 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78455287642 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.560283687943 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 459.0 705.55239521 65% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.7467671384 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.75 119.503703932 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.625 23.324526521 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.625 5.70786347227 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.204798743966 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652808948592 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0757820685665 0.0701772020484 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.103142265691 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0620706751956 0.0628817314937 99% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.28 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 12.3882235529 48% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.