A recent study indicates that children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the United States, despite the fact that people in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal receive little to no professional dental care, while people in suburban areas in the United States see a dentist an average of 1.25 times per year. Thus, regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay.
Passage concludes or proposes that A recent study indicates that children living in the himalayan mountain region in nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the united states.In order to support this conclusion author has come up with certain evidences.However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed that none of the evidence land credible support to the conclusion let us scrutinize them further,
Firstly,author said that a recent study indicates that children living in the himalayan mountain region in nepal have lower levels of tooth decay than children living in suburban areas in the united states despite the fact that people in the himalayan mountain region in nepal receive little to no professional dental care but author may have not noticed that may be the children living in himalayan may be abstemious to chocolates,toffees other tooth decaying things and take some herbal from the mountain itself to clean their teeths that's why they didn't require any professional dental care ,other reason may be it may be possible that no dentist want to go to a remote location which on a mountain.
Secondly,author asserted that while people in suburban areas in the united states see a dentist an average 1.25 times per year but author should identify that it may be possible that the children in united states may be having inherent tooth decays transferred from their parents and prone to ice-creams which shivers their tooth so it may profitable for the dentists to be in united states.
Thirdly,author said regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay however author should argue that their must be some substantial evidences to proof the above conclusion for example the tabulated form of data of himalayan and united states people getting affected by tooth decay for minimum 5 years.
After having seen the above discussion we come to know that the proposal has not been substantiated by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus the author must bring more data into consideration to make such conclusion.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 6 15
No. of Words: 353 350
No. of Characters: 1747 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.335 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.949 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.471 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 140 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 58.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.535 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.918 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.291 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 217, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
... in suburban areas in the united states.In order to support this conclusion author...
^^
Line 1, column 295, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...thor has come up with certain evidences.However on a deeper scrutiny it is revealed tha...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...scrutinize them further, Firstly,author said that a recent study indicates that...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 390, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ticed that may be the children living in himalayan may be abstemious to chocolate...
^^
Line 7, column 433, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , toffees
...imalayan may be abstemious to chocolates,toffees other tooth decaying things and take so...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 538, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...e mountain itself to clean their teeths thats why they didnt require any professional...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 553, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...lf to clean their teeths thats why they didnt require any professional dental care ,o...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 595, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...dnt require any professional dental care ,other reason may be it may be possible t...
^^
Line 7, column 610, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: maybe
... professional dental care ,other reason may be it may be possible that no dentist want...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
...on which on a mountain. Secondly,author asserted that while people in suburban ...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 8, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , author
... to be in united states. Thirdly,author said regular dental care is not helpful...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 316, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ted by tooth decay for minimum 5 years. After having seen the above discussion w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 141, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...by the evidences provided by the author.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus t...
^^^
Line 25, column 178, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Thus
...or.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus the author must bring more data into co...
^^^^
Line 25, column 178, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...or.The evidences hold inherent weakness.Thus the author must bring more data into co...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1796.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 344.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22093023256 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.30665032142 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82603594774 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 167.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.485465116279 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 4.0 19.7664670659 20% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 86.0 22.8473053892 376% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 360.958706087 57.8364921388 624% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 449.0 119.503703932 376% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 86.0 23.324526521 369% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 25.25 5.70786347227 442% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.448504294359 0.218282227539 205% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.211536729631 0.0743258471296 285% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.2260490616 0.0701772020484 322% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.238451268898 0.128457276422 186% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.194023990665 0.0628817314937 309% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 46.2 14.3799401198 321% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -15.81 48.3550499002 -33% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 36.8 12.197005988 302% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 14.18 12.5979740519 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 11.25 8.32208582834 135% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 54.0 12.3882235529 436% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 36.4 11.1389221557 327% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.