"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
The statement claims that there is a need for building new dormitories to attract students. I strongly disagree with it and there are some reasons in the following paragraphs.
First of all, the essay claims that Buckingham’s enrollment is growing and based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years. We need more evidence to prove that will double over the next 50 year, recently increase cannot means it will always increase the next 50 years. Even if it will decrease following the economy in Country, Such as trade war, or global economic crisis, etc. These are uncontrollable factors. We cannot ensure it cannot happen.
Secondly, the statement claims that the average rent for an apartment has risen in recent years. It has not proved more evidence of rant will continue to rise for 50 years. The increase in apartment rents in recent years does not mean that it will increase in the next 50 years, and it may also decline. The policy can also affect the change in rents.
Thirdly, this statement claims that students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. It needs to give the evidence for the students cannot afford rents. It is also possible that the student’s family conditions are good enough to pay these rents.
Finally, this essay claims that attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. It should prove that why accommodation can attract these new students. Most of the students more pay attention to the quality of teaching. If it has worried quality in education, it still cannot get more freshmen. Evidence is needed to show that no new schools in the next 50 years. If a new school appears, then Buckingham College will face competition in applicants and it will make dormitories are sufficient.
To sum up, it still needs to consider more evidence and decide.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1517 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.816 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.544 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.195 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.303 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.566 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.084 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, such as, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 19.6327345309 41% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 55.5748502994 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1575.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 315.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71987728148 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 204.123752495 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492063492063 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 470.7 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.4597081481 57.8364921388 56% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 75.0 119.503703932 63% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.0 23.324526521 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.42857142857 5.70786347227 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.284937346381 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0808763299379 0.0743258471296 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0978243051959 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131839866865 0.128457276422 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0957819884104 0.0628817314937 152% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.6 14.3799401198 67% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 48.3550499002 134% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 12.197005988 66% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.13 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.74 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.