Several charitable organizations in Pleasantville provide opportunities for teenagers to engage in community service. These organizations have a great need for volunteers, but in recent years, the number of teenage volunteers has significantly declined.Th

Essay topics:

Several charitable organizations in Pleasantville provide opportunities for teenagers to engage in community service. These organizations have a great need for volunteers, but in recent years, the number of teenage volunteers has significantly declined.

The Pleasantville School Board should take measures to increase the number of volunteers. Teachers, parents, and other community members agree that it is important for young people to learn the value of community service. Requiring high school students to engage in community service would provide much-needed assistance to worthy local charities and would also help young people understand the importance of giving back to their community. For this reason, the Pleasantville School Board should institute a program requiring students of Pleasantville High School to complete 40 hours of community service prior to graduation.

The passage asserts that student participation in community service has declined and therefore, schools should facilitate their engangment in these social services. however, the argument is missing information to be cogent. To be further persuasive, it should elaborate on whether the decrease is truly significant, and participation in community service would influence teenager's conception of the society, and finally that why 40 hours is a reasonable amount of time that should be compelled to students.

First of all, the significant decrease in student volunteer rates should be explained in more detail. For instance, although the total number of students that helped these organizations could have decreased from 100 to 50. however, the total ratio of students participating might increase if the total number of students also decreased: for example, from 150 to 60 due to dwindling birth rate. therefore, the passage should substantiate this "significant decrease" by giving specific numbers to be sound.

Next, concluding that taking part in these activities will help student's comprehension of the giving back to the society seems hasty. student might be unwilling to help these communities and would prefer studying or having fun instead. In this case - although they could still learn from the experience - they will not fully engage in the activities and just try to get over the situation by spending time. therefore, the notion that students will from this opportunity is illogical and would need further evidence to support it.

finally, 40 hours seem like a arbitrary time decided by the authorities of the High school and requires more explanation on why this certain amount was selected. 40 hours could be too long a time to be fulfilled by highschool students because of the schoolwork they have to finish. Moreover, because of the limit of students who can take part at a time, it could be nearly impossible for students to meet the requirements of graduation. although the passage could be presenting this number after deliberation, there still is no supporting detail to be telling to the readers.

In conclusion, the asseveration that the passage makes logical fallacies that require additional support to be persuasive. it should give quantitative analysis of the decrease of students helping the community service organizations, corroborate why compelling them to volunteer will be propitious for them, and finally, why 40 hours is a optimal time for students.

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Average: 7.5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 166, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ir engangment in these social services. however, the argument is missing information to...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t should be compelled to students. First of all, the significant decrease i...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 224, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: However
...ns could have decreased from 100 to 50. however, the total ratio of students participat...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 395, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
... 150 to 60 due to dwindling birth rate. therefore, the passage should substantiate this &...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ving specific numbers to be sound. Next, concluding that taking part in the...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 135, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Student
...giving back to the society seems hasty. student might be unwilling to help these commun...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 408, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...et over the situation by spending time. therefore, the notion that students will from thi...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed further evidence to support it. finally, 40 hours seem like a arbitrary ...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Finally
...her evidence to support it. finally, 40 hours seem like a arbitrary time de...
^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 29, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... finally, 40 hours seem like a arbitrary time decided by the authoriti...
^
Line 25, column 438, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Although
...to meet the requirements of graduation. although the passage could be presenting this nu...
^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tail to be telling to the readers. In conclusion, the asseveration that the...
^^^^^^^
Line 33, column 124, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...re additional support to be persuasive. it should give quantitative analysis of th...
^^
Line 33, column 337, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... for them, and finally, why 40 hours is a optimal time for students.
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, therefore, for example, for instance, in conclusion, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2148.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 391.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.49360613811 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.44676510885 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07109397513 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 204.123752495 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516624040921 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 644.4 705.55239521 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.1881663444 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.352941176 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11764705882 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.130901987828 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0476031534367 0.0743258471296 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0455212037864 0.0701772020484 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0785326197379 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0363875562334 0.0628817314937 58% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.9 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.86 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.06 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.