The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area Although only a small percentage of the land wi | TOEFL IELTS GMAT GRE SAT ACT PTE ESL

Essay topics:

“The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit primarily to see our magnificent bird population

The argument that the Smith Corporation's development of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve is logical at first glance. However, when analyzing the argument it begins to crumble as it is based on several unsupported assumptions. Because these assumptions are not backed up with fact, this argument is not effectively convincing and more research will have to be done before the public is convinced that this development is negative to the bird population or to the community.

First the argument assumes that bird population at Youngtown Wildlife preserve will be negatively affected by the Smith Corporation. Although they only buy small area of the land still the development process can be built without harming the bird population. The bird species are extremely complex to understand. The actual population and their behavior pattern should studied before developing hotel. An hotel should be situated far away from the sanctuary. It should be built in ecofriendly way , population of the bird can live peacefully. The precluded assumption should be discussed in a constructive way. Before planning any build up in this area , an extensive research should be made to analyze the biodiversity of the bird population and the environment. The research is needed to find the more information about the birds and the impacts of building hotel . The research will reveal the negative or positive impacts of the hotel projects by Smith Corporation.
Secondly the argument shouldn`t assumed that the tourist who came for visiting the bird sanctuary will have stay in the hotel. Like the hotel built by Smith Corporation will be only staying place for the tourist. The argument clearly stated the tourists means Youngtown is a tourist place. There are more staying place for the tourists. Before making any decision we need to know that the land for sale is suitable for growing native fauna and the living of the birds.

In conclusion, while the author is not wrong in the fact that it is concerning when a wildlife preserve sells its land, several factors go into deciding whether or not this decision is a poor one. In fact, the building of a hotel to service tourists which fund this wildlife preserve may bring more tourists in, leading to more money for the preserve to use to improve the land that it still has. After all, in this situation it is the preserving of the bird populations that inhabit the sanctuary's land that is the most important. If preserving those populations is made more possible through the generation of more revenue, the building of a hotel may not be a negative one.

Votes

Essay Categories

GMAT/GRE Argument Task

Comments

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 114, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...serve will be negatively affected by the Smith Corporation. Although they only bu...
^^
Line 3, column 135, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Although” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ely affected by the Smith Corporation. Although they only buy small area of the land st...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 404, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'A' instead of 'An' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: A
...should studied before developing hotel. An hotel should be situated far away from...
^^
Line 3, column 419, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...before developing hotel. An hotel should be situated far away from the sanctuary....
^^
Line 3, column 499, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...y. It should be built in ecofriendly way , population of the bird can live peacefu...
^^
Line 3, column 591, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a constructive way" with adverb for "constructive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...recluded assumption should be discussed in a constructive way. Before planning any build up in this a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 655, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...efore planning any build up in this area , an extensive research should be made to...
^^
Line 3, column 868, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
... birds and the impacts of building hotel . The research will reveal the negative o...
^^
Line 4, column 114, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'staid', 'stayed'.
Suggestion: staid; stayed
...r visiting the bird sanctuary will have stay in the hotel. Like the hotel built by S...
^^^^
Line 4, column 251, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'tourists'' or 'tourist's'?
Suggestion: tourists'; tourist's
...ourist. The argument clearly stated the tourists means Youngtown is a tourist place. The...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 67, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...author is not wrong in the fact that it is concerning when a wildlife preserve sells its land...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 155, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
... land, several factors go into deciding whether or not this decision is a poor one. In fact, t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 356, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...ading to more money for the preserve to use to improve the land that it still has. ...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, still, while, after all, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2172.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 430.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0511627907 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55372829156 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.796790582 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 204.123752495 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.46511627907 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 676.8 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 49.0995993992 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.7272727273 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5454545455 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09090909091 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302575732725 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0939685815663 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0654985710974 0.0701772020484 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178489670345 0.128457276422 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0635587238306 0.0628817314937 101% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.1 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, secondly, still, while, after all, in conclusion, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments