"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In these newsletter, The author concludes that more bicycle accident is occuring because bicyclist feel safer wearing the helmet and they risk their life resulting in accidents. Author also feels that government should concentrate on more educating of people about bicycle safety and less encouraging bicyclist to wear helmets to reduce the accidents. The points that author has taken into consideration are either without evidence or not derived from the proper premise. He/she had taken a lot of assumption in the data given in the newsletter.
First of all, the author has assumed that ten years ago the number of bicyclist wearing helmets were 35 percent approximately which has rose to 80 percent today. It is not given from where this assumption is taken or what are the numbers of the total bicyclist ten years ago and today. Is the total number of bicyclist has changed or remain same? Without total number how can it be inferred that the no of bicyclist wearing has increased. So these number about the increasing of the number of bicyclist wearing helmets could not be considered true.
Secondly, author has also stated that the number of bicyclist related accident has increased by over 200 percent but he/she had not given about the percent of bicyclist accident ten years ago. Also the author has not given about the total number from which the number of bicyclist accident is deduced.It seems that the author is giving figure just by assuming.
Finally, the author wants the government should concentrate on less encouraging the use of helmets considering that the riders feel safer after wearing helmets which leads to more accidents. I think that it may be true that the bicyclist feel safer by wearing helmets but that doesn't mean that they go on to drive in improper way leading to more accident. Less encouraging of wearing helmets may lead to the more number of accidents.
Thus, it can be concluded that the author has not taken assumption based on evidences while considering the data in the mention paragraph in the health newsletter. So, the data mentioned here is irrelevant and should be rechecked before considering.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 362 350
No. of Characters: 1757 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.362 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.854 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.534 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.279 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.403 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.645 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.188 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 4, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this newsletter' or 'these newsletters'?
Suggestion: this newsletter; these newsletters
In these newsletter, The author concludes that more bicycle...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 490, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun assumption seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of assumptions'.
Suggestion: a lot of assumptions
...om the proper premise. He/she had taken a lot of assumption in the data given in the newsletter. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 402, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
... number how can it be inferred that the no of bicyclist wearing has increased. So ...
^^
Line 5, column 195, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...nt of bicyclist accident ten years ago. Also the author has not given about the tota...
^^^^
Line 5, column 303, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...number of bicyclist accident is deduced.It seems that the author is giving figure ...
^^
Line 7, column 280, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... feel safer by wearing helmets but that doesnt mean that they go on to drive in improp...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, while, i think, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1804.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 358.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.03910614525 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34981470047 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59771129877 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 150.0 204.123752495 73% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.418994413408 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 556.2 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.0674199381 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.75 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.375 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.75 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.293536513622 0.218282227539 134% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.113829531565 0.0743258471296 153% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118660311088 0.0701772020484 169% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.159815688959 0.128457276422 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.130058636282 0.0628817314937 207% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.3799401198 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.2 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 98.500998004 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.