There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
The author concludes that relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives. Stated this way, the argument fails to consider several key facts, shreds of evidence, circumstances, on the basis of which it can be evaluated. Moreover, the author provides the instances with poor reasoning and inappropriate assumptions. After prim analysis of the author's argument, it can be seen that the shreds of evidence provided by the author do not support the argument to a greater extent. Thus the argument can be considered as incomplete.
Firstly, better health and greater longevity cannot be completely depended on the pace of the life. It has different aspects and circumstances that might reduce the better health and greater longevity of a person. For example, considering the point of better health. In cities, there are lots of vehicles which run on the roads. These vehicles emit harmful gases and pollute the surrounding. This can be considered as one of the reasons for an unhealthy atmosphere in cities. Comparatively, there are less number of vehicles a town and the overall impact on the health decreases eventually increasing the lifespan of the people. Thus, in the author's argument of better health and greater longevity in town in comparison to cities, he has not considered all the facts and reasons for the same and can be considered as a false conclusion.
Secondly, the author states that average age in the town is greater than that in the city. Now here, the concept behind the average age says that if the number of observations is less then eventually the math will result in a higher number. Further to support the point, as author states, there are only 1000 people living in the town. And in the city, there would surely be a number of residents in comparison. Thus, the average age of the residents of city decreases. And so, it is clear that author has not considered the fact that the number of people in the town and those in the city vary to a greater extent and the average cannot be compared.
Thirdly, the town has less number of educated people. This can counter the author's point of having only one physician in the town whereas the city has five times more number of physicians. In this part of the argument, the author overlooks the fact that people in the city are more focused and try to get well-educated. Moreover, in the city areas, there are more opportunities and better education provided as compared to than in the town.
In conclusion, the author's argument is unconvincing as it stands, Moreover, the author can go through a much more detailed analysis of his argument to provide more concrete and convincing shreds of evidence. Finally, to better assess the survey undertaken by the author, he/she maybe go into depth of the topic and understand how or why there are better health and greater longevity in the relaxed pace of life in small towns than that in the hectic pace of life in big cities.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- need to argue this:
Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton.
argument 2 -- simply: maybe there are a lot of seniors
argument 3 -- not exactly
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 511 350
No. of Characters: 2406 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.755 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.708 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.582 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.44 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.45 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.56 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 377, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...assumptions. After prim analysis of the authors argument, it can be seen that the shred...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 510, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...pport the argument to a greater extent. Thus the argument can be considered as incom...
^^^^
Line 3, column 643, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...he lifespan of the people. Thus, in the authors argument of better health and greater l...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[2]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...t if the number of observations is less then eventually the math will result in a hi...
^^^^
Line 5, column 242, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Further,
...he math will result in a higher number. Further to support the point, as author states,...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 163, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'number' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: number
...he town whereas the city has five times more number of physicians. In this part of the argu...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 20, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...than in the town. In conclusion, the authors argument is unconvincing as it stands, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 285, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'goes'.
Suggestion: goes
... undertaken by the author, he/she maybe go into depth of the topic and understand ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, if, look, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, well, whereas, for example, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 55.5748502994 131% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2473.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 510.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84901960784 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6803720756 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 213.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.417647058824 0.468620217663 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 787.5 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.1976231372 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.92 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.64 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.242539194227 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0733626429703 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0959642939638 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.145336033815 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0854504603162 0.0628817314937 136% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.85 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.