There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author is comparing life style of living in big cities and small towns, and suggesting that life in the latter promotes better health and longer life. The author is supporting this claim with comparative anlysis of observations from both locations. Although, these observations offer possiblity to support the author’s argument, there are other possibly stronger explanations for these observations that can be proved more accurate.
Firstly, the author is comparing the number of reported sick leave between big city, which is Mastonton, and small town, which is Leeville. According to him, the small town businessed reported fewer number of sick leaves, unlike the high number of sick leaves in the big city. This obesrvation can be more cogently explained by the fact, the size and type of business in big cities is bigger and more complex. For example, Constuction businesses and industrial businessed constitute important segments of the job market in the cities. These type of business have higher chances for employees to get sick. Also, the high number of sick leaves can be attrubuted to the size of the work force in the cities, which is significantly higher than in small towns.
Secondly, the author is citing the number of physician the small town compared to the city to conclude that residents of the town do not need much health care like the residents of the city. This is a flawed explanation for this fact. The small number of physician in small towns is usually because small number of physicians are willing to work in these location. Especially those physicians who are not native to the small town. Physicians, of course, they will look for a place with more opprtunities which is obviously the big cities. This explanation is more plausible than the one provided by the authors.
Finally, the fact the average age of small town resident’s is higher does not indicate they are healthier or live longer. Average age is very different that life-expectancy, which can be used to indicate who long human beings could live. Actually, higher average age indicate that senior people like to live in small towns more than younger poeple. In fact, even young people who are native to small towns will eventually move to big cities for more opportunity, be it education in university or for work. Also, retired people from cities might would like to go back to their hometown to spend their retirment. Therefore, it become more understandable why average age in small towns is higher.
The author’s claim that small towns promote healthier life style and make people live longer is unconvincing. The presented facts and observations, even if accurate, can be explained more cogently and reasonably by other arguments. The author, in order to support his argument, should provide further evidence or at least exclude other possible explanations, such as the above mentioned ones.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Although, these observations offer possiblity to support the author's argument, there are other possibly stronger explanations for these observations that can be proved more accurate.
Error: possiblity Suggestion: possibility
Sentence: According to him, the small town businessed reported fewer number of sick leaves, unlike the high number of sick leaves in the big city.
Error: businessed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: This obesrvation can be more cogently explained by the fact, the size and type of business in big cities is bigger and more complex.
Error: obesrvation Suggestion: observation
Sentence: For example, Constuction businesses and industrial businessed constitute important segments of the job market in the cities.
Error: businessed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Also, the high number of sick leaves can be attrubuted to the size of the work force in the cities, which is significantly higher than in small towns.
Error: attrubuted Suggestion: attributed
Sentence: Physicians, of course, they will look for a place with more opprtunities which is obviously the big cities.
Error: opprtunities Suggestion: opportunities
Sentence: Average age is very different that life-expectancy, which can be used to indicate who long human beings could live.
Error: life-expectancy Suggestion: life expectancy
Sentence: Actually, higher average age indicate that senior people like to live in small towns more than younger poeple.
Error: poeple Suggestion: people
Sentence: Also, retired people from cities might would like to go back to their hometown to spend their retirment.
Error: hometown Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: retirment Suggestion: retirement
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 477 350
No. of Characters: 2363 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.673 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.954 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.619 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.359 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.518 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.093 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 350, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this location' or 'these locations'?
Suggestion: this location; these locations
...er of physicians are willing to work in these location. Especially those physicians who are no...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 631, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'becomes'?
Suggestion: becomes
...to spend their retirment. Therefore, it become more understandable why average age in ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 238, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ntly and reasonably by other arguments. The author, in order to support his argumen...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, at least, for example, in fact, of course, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2448.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 477.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1320754717 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67336384929 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78011609978 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 222.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.465408805031 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 767.7 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 36.3940385457 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.0 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.875 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.79166666667 5.70786347227 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28713788415 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0918447314302 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0780715537409 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162683569571 0.128457276422 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0490970402562 0.0628817314937 78% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.