"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town — Adams Realty and Fitch Realty — Adams Realty is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents; in contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago I listed my home with Fitch, and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams Realty."
The author concluded that adams realty is a better real estate firm than fitch realty to sell a house quickly and at a good price. To justify the conclusion, the writer says that adams realty has advantage on the number of real estate agent and the revenue than fitch realty. Besides, in order to strengthen the idea, the author also states the house can be sold faster in adam realty base on his own experience. but this conclusion is unconving under a lot of unstated assumptions.
The writer indicates that adams realty's real estate agent number is more than fitch realty. In that case, the author thought adams realty have a better effiency base on the advantage of the number. but this logic is based on a unstated assumption: greater number can make a better effiency. On the contrary, this thesis is tenuous. maybe fitch realty's worker have a better effiency so that they can survive in this competition between two corporations. maybe fitch realty is much better than adams realty if they have same number of agents. More study should be conducted to verify this assumption.
The author states that adams's home sale and overall revenue is greater than fitch's. Consequentely make people thouht adams realty is better on home sell. On the contrary, this comparation can't prove anything. first, the revenue report is just last year, this year can be a total different. What's more, maybe last year is the only year that adams realty had a higher revenue than fitch realty. second, the home sales doesn't mean anything to a real estate firm. maybe home sale is the major operation of adams realty, and a little part for fitch realty. A lot of explaination should be eliminated to prove the idea.
Besides, the writer told a true experience that he sold house in adams realty is more quicker than in fitch realty. this experience is also unconvincing because of the time situation. The author sold the first house ten years ago in fitch realty and the second house one year age in adams realty. ten years is a great gap. anything could be different ten years later. There is no evidence prove that the economic is the same.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 372 350
No. of Characters: 1720 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.392 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.624 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.287 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 118 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.571 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.77 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 414, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...adam realty base on his own experience. but this conclusion is unconving under a lo...
^^^
Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...cy base on the advantage of the number. but this logic is based on a unstated assum...
^^^
Line 7, column 226, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... the number. but this logic is based on a unstated assumption: greater number can...
^
Line 7, column 333, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...n the contrary, this thesis is tenuous. maybe fitch realtys worker have a better effi...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 454, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...s competition between two corporations. maybe fitch realty is much better than adams ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 189, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...sell. On the contrary, this comparation cant prove anything. first, the revenue repo...
^^^^
Line 13, column 210, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: First
..., this comparation cant prove anything. first, the revenue report is just last year, ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 291, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ar, this year can be a total different. Whats more, maybe last year is the only year ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 394, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Second
...had a higher revenue than fitch realty. second, the home sales doesnt mean anything to...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 417, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...an fitch realty. second, the home sales doesnt mean anything to a real estate firm. ma...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 461, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...nt mean anything to a real estate firm. maybe home sale is the major operation of ada...
^^^^^
Line 19, column 82, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'quicker' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: quicker
...e that he sold house in adams realty is more quicker than in fitch realty. this experience i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 117, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...y is more quicker than in fitch realty. this experience is also unconvincing because...
^^^^
Line 19, column 298, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Ten
...ond house one year age in adams realty. ten years is a great gap. anything could be...
^^^
Line 19, column 324, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Anything
...adams realty. ten years is a great gap. anything could be different ten years later. The...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, may, second, so, then, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 55.5748502994 56% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1778.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 371.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.79245283019 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38877662729 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37623360568 2.78398813304 85% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.431266846361 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 554.4 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.5814584348 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 71.12 119.503703932 60% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 14.84 23.324526521 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.76 5.70786347227 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 15.0 5.25449101796 285% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.363272359164 0.218282227539 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111936279188 0.0743258471296 151% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.117569334502 0.0701772020484 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.256615319883 0.128457276422 200% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0744826319581 0.0628817314937 118% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.6 14.3799401198 60% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 48.3550499002 136% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 12.197005988 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.91 12.5979740519 79% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.01 8.32208582834 84% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.