The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries wrote a recommendation to president about productivity of the employees. According to him the employees use internet at workstation for their own personal or recreational activities such as shopping or playing games and due to this behavior the productivity decreases. There are two major assumptions made by vice president which are impractical, one of them is the productivity decreases because of internet usage for personal purpose and second is if internet usage is the reason for less productivity than monitoring their computers will increase the productivity. However, he has failed to provide many hard facts which really fortifies his argument; due to this reason, his assumptions, and finally derived conclusion are utterly skeptical.
Additionally, without doing any research or survey we cannot identify the reason behind the problem. In the given argument the writer wrongly assumed that decrease in productivity of the employee because of online shopping and playing games. the writer didn't provide any data related to his conclusion and directly put solution for assumed problem. These is major weakness of the writer which should be considered by company president before implementing the suggested solution.
However, the employees use internet for their personal work then there are so many different factors comes to my mind. One of them is may the employees don't have time to pay rents, electricity bills etc. and they do such important work at office. secondly the working hours may long which are not enough to complete household activities. Thirdly, working environment of the workstation is boring and make lethargic so they engage themselves in online gaming and shopping. fourth, the administration of the company is very weak and they don't pay attention on employees which give freedom to employees for internet excess for their own choices.
Furthermore, the vice present talked about monitoring of computers and punished if they found doing their personal work. But that is not correct way to increase the productivity, it may convert the atmosphere in authoritative one. To convert least control atmosphere to strong control build threats in the employees and it may spoil a reputation of the company. The company should analyses the reasons and then find perfect solution to rise productivity with high quality.
Finally, the argument, made by the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries, needs extra hard facts to consider it as reliable. He should not try to avoid concerns raised above for a robust argument about productivity enhancement of his company. However, at the present status of the argument, it is not beyond dispute, and likely to get no dice from the concerned high-ranking officials who are going to scrutinize this proposal.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2362 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.226 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.88 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 151 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 68 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.483 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.577 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.144 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...e of online shopping and playing games. the writer didnt provide any data related t...
^^^
Line 3, column 254, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
... shopping and playing games. the writer didnt provide any data related to his conclus...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 350, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[4]
Message: Did you mean 'this'?
Suggestion: This
...ectly put solution for assumed problem. These is major weakness of the writer which s...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 79, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...r their personal work then there are so many different factors comes to my mind. One of them i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 94, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'factors'' or 'factor's'?
Suggestion: factors'; factor's
...l work then there are so many different factors comes to my mind. One of them is may th...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 153, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
... mind. One of them is may the employees dont have time to pay rents, electricity bil...
^^^^
Line 5, column 248, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Secondly
... they do such important work at office. secondly the working hours may long which are no...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 473, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Fourth
...emselves in online gaming and shopping. fourth, the administration of the company is v...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 537, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...on of the company is very weak and they dont pay attention on employees which give f...
^^^^
Line 7, column 235, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[3]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'convert the least'.
Suggestion: convert the least
...the atmosphere in authoritative one. To convert least control atmosphere to strong control bu...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, however, if, may, really, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2416.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38084632517 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95153585964 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.514476614699 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 756.0 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.3297065865 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.047619048 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.380952381 23.324526521 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95238095238 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.165839105535 0.218282227539 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0521605380109 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0562982074346 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0917812742522 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0192988199433 0.0628817314937 31% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.6 14.3799401198 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.48 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 108.0 98.500998004 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 12.3882235529 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.