"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
A recommendation from the Board of Directors at Monarch Books suggests the addition of a cafe inside the bookstore. They believe that this would attract more customers to the store since it has a large selection of books on all subjects. Moreover, the predicament about where to fit the cafe in the store has been resolved. Monarch Books have decided to discontinue the children's book section since a recent census suggested a decrease in the percentage of kids in a population. Additional evidence provided suggests that Regal books have adhered to a similar approach of opening a cafe inside the store and if Monarch Books does the same, they will be able to better compete with Regal Books. The argument made by the Board of Directors and the evidence provided sounds convincing during the first read, but a closer look unearths a few possible loopholes that could play against the prediction of the Board of Directors.
Firstly, there is a possibility that the customers of Monarch Books are not interested in having coffee or any other refreshments during their time at the bookstore. This could mean that the customers would be infuriated at the decrease in space at the bookstore. These customers would have rather preferred more space for reading over a cafe. It can also be the case that the location where Monarch Books is located already has a few well-known cafeterias that its customers frequent after reading the books. This could pose serious competition to the cafe at Monarch Books and moreover, could lead to a loss of revenue if the cafe is not enamored by its customers.
Secondly, the success predicted with respect to Regal Books is based upon baseless assumptions. There is no evidence on the location of the books store, the type of books it has, the space it has inside the book store, and many more aspects which need to be clarified if a legible comparison has to be made. There is a possibility that Regal books has a huge carpet area that allows it to house a cafe as well as books of all genres. Moreover, the possibility of no cafes around the close vicinity of the store ensures no competition to its cafe at the first place. These conditions make the idea of opening a cafe inside a bookstore, ideal for Regal Books. But without further evidence about the location and architecture of Monarch Books store, it is hard to categorically claim that the idea of opening a cafe will provide dividends to Monarch Books.
Additionally, it is also highly probable that the children used to get along their parents to the bookstore with them so that they can read books of their choice. Since, the child section has been planned to be excluded from the books store. Since the kids would not be visiting Monarch books, it is unlikely that the parents of these kids will visit the books stores as well. This will eventually lead to a high rate of customer churn for Monarch Books.
In sum, the plan of introducing a cafe could bring along a lot of shortcomings for Monarch Books. The plan is based upon incomplete assumptions and knowledge. Therefore, the success of such a plans seems highly unlikely unless the above mentioned shortfalls have been addressed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 550 350
No. of Characters: 2588 1500
No. of Different Words: 228 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.843 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.705 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.569 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.917 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.534 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.338 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 164, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...at they can read books of their choice. Since, the child section has been planned to ...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 191, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a plan' or simply 'plans'?
Suggestion: a plan; plans
...owledge. Therefore, the success of such a plans seems highly unlikely unless the above ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, look, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, as to, as well as, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 28.8173652695 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 55.5748502994 157% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2646.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 550.0 441.139720559 125% => OK
Chars per words: 4.81090909091 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84273464058 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63436664178 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 231.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.42 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 835.2 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.7955808692 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.25 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9166666667 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.339620615629 0.218282227539 156% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106644728039 0.0743258471296 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530428933258 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.196921317169 0.128457276422 153% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0645766932051 0.0628817314937 103% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.