"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
In the memo, the author asserts that opening a café in Monarch books will be an effective approach in increasing the number of customers and also competing with the neighboring Regal books. However, the conclusion drawn by the author, might hold water; it rests on certain unfolded assumptions, if not substantiated, dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument. Thus, the following three questions must be addressed.
First of all, it is not certain that those customers who seek for good books will also be interested in having a cup of coffee. There might be a possibility that the location where the Monarch Books is located can have a very famous café which is mostly preferred by all. Therefore opening the café won’t be enough for attracting more customers. If the mentioned condition prevails, then the assertion made by the author is certainly hampered.
Secondly, it is not mentioned that which section of the book store had most impact on the customer numbers. As said in the memo, that he space for café can be made by replacing the children book section, but there might be a case that the children book section is the most visited section among the rest. Though there is given a probability on significant reduction in under ten age population but reduction in the population won’t hamper the daily customer who has been buying books from Monarch books from years. If this is the condition than the assumption made by the author is greatly weakened. The opening of the café will be on the cost of his regular customer who has preferred Monarch Books for years.
Lastly, no data has been presented to corroborate the fact that opening café by Regal books has substantially increased their customer incoming. As motioned in the memo, the competing factor will increase if Monarch Books also open its café like that of Regal books but there is no assertion that has Regal books been as good with book purchase as Monarch Books is? If monarch book is good with customer sale than Regal book than opening a café won’t be a good decision to attract some more. Regal books with lower nook sale and more café cost might b the one suffering later. If this given condition prevails than the claim made by the author is certainly weakened.
To sum up, more corroborated data is needed before a firm conclusion is reached. If all the above mentioned questions could be answered, it will be possible to fully evaluate the validity of the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2003 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.702 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.55 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.846 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.327 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 272, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... café which is mostly preferred by all. Therefore opening the café won’t be enough for at...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 515, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ng books from Monarch books from years. If this is the condition than the assumpti...
^^
Line 4, column 366, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...with book purchase as Monarch Books is? If monarch book is good with customer sale...
^^
Line 4, column 577, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...é cost might b the one suffering later. If this given condition prevails than the ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, first of all, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2057.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 4.86288416076 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62244745102 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.437352245863 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 623.7 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.716148841 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.263157895 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2631578947 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.63157894737 5.70786347227 99% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.354740323415 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.119862375944 0.0743258471296 161% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0976158656002 0.0701772020484 139% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.195551571619 0.128457276422 152% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109681198888 0.0628817314937 174% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.