Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.
The explanation is well presented that the author attributes the better health and greater longevity in Leeville to its relaxed pace of life. Astonishingly plausible as the statement may sound, scrutiny reveals it is challenged by several alternatives, which, if proved, will cast doubt on the credibility of the existing explanation.
To begin with, though we are informed the reported number of sick leave is fewer in the Leeville region, it is not equivalent to a better health situation among local workers. The writer cannot rule out the possibility that the local employment environment is significantly different from that in big cities. For instance, workers may be fear to report illness and insist to work when they are sick. Moreover, Leeville employees may assign priority to the character of hardworking, which makes them less willing to take sick leaves. Therefore, a fewer number of reported sick leaves does not signal a better health condition in small towns. Consequently, the beneficial effects of the relaxed pace are open to doubt.
Moreover, by citing the share of physicians, the author seems to imply that residents in Leeville are unnecessary to hire more doctors because they are already healthy. However, this argument hinges on an unsubstantiated assumption, which is not always held in reality, that the local public budget and residents’ incomes can afford such expenditure. On the contrary, the local economy may not be able to increase the doctor-resident ratio to the level at big cities, since Leeville is a small town. The existing explanation will be rendered questionable, if this alternative has been proved more accurate. Leeville has a lower proportion of physicians to residents is not because it does not have such a need, but because the city does not have the required financing capability to do so.
Finally, the writer further claims the pace of life should receive the credit for a higher average age in Leeville. Nevertheless, a higher average age does not mean a greater longevity. On the one hand, such an age structure could represent an unhealthy population structure—an aging society. There is a possibility that the local economy is stagnated, and the younger generation has left the city and moved to areas with a booming economy. On the other hand, immigration could also have the potential to contribute to the average age. Maybe Leeville has a lower property price and greater climate, which attract the retired population to move to this region. None of these alternatives demonstrate the longevity is greater in small towns. Therefore, the pace of life is difficult to be honored for its roles.
To summarize, as I have manifested above, it is too precipitous for the author to arrive at the conclusion that the relaxed pace of life has tremendous positive impacts on residents’ health without taking account of other alternatives. We cannot turn a blind eye to other influential factors, which could also give rise to the aforementioned phenomena.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
'On the other hand' means 'However'. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 40 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2460 1500
No. of Different Words: 237 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.02 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.851 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 181 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 96 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.304 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.08 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.482 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.068 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, however, if, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, therefore, well, on the contrary, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2658.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 511.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20156555773 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75450408675 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05062265981 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.512720156556 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 866.7 705.55239521 123% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2551566544 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.75 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2916666667 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.08333333333 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126494762332 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0319252070707 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0361437984611 0.0701772020484 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0611427248522 0.128457276422 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0422534062146 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 136.0 98.500998004 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.