the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

the best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition

Leadership is the ability to lead a group of people to cooperate together and compete with others. The claim suggests that the leadership training for the youth should emphasize on cooperation, not competition. However, based on my humble definition of leadership, I believe that both of the techniques are important for a successful leader. Thus, I partially agree with the statement.

First of all, a successful leader should have the ability to unite his or her colleagues together. In real world, a professional project can not be completed by a single person. To elaborate, human being is not perfect creature, the knowledge of a group of people is much greater than an individual. That is the reason why a leader need to unite his or her pals together. Take system in a manufacturing company as an example, the manufacturing system need to integrate with upstream to downstream, and the technical leader should be a key role to break down user's requirement into individual tasks for junior engineers. Also, the technical leader should make sure each independent task is on schedule. Most important of all, all tasks should be on the same track, and be able to combine together for outcome.

Nevertheless, competition is also important for leadership, because it can drive people's passion to win. An British reasearch demonstrated that a person can get better performance in a competition with his or her rivals joining in. For example, both Samsung and TSMC, well-known semiconductor manufacturing companies, chase to develop a smaller chip for the devices for next generation. Because they are not the only company at the top peak, they strive to occupy the market share. The competition between industry leaders deliver the state of art of future mobile phones and automotive vehicles.

The leadership is complex and I strongly believe that the youth should have the ability to cooperate and compete based on certain circumstances. That is the reason why I partially agree with the statement.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Leadership is the ability to lead a grou...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... partially agree with the statement. First of all, a successful leader should...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 564, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'users'' or 'user's'?
Suggestion: users'; user's
...ader should be a key role to break down users requirement into individual tasks for j...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e to combine together for outcome. Nevertheless, competition is also import...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 111, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'A' instead of 'An' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: A
...se it can drive peoples passion to win. An British reasearch demonstrated that a p...
^^
Line 6, column 298, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...msung and TSMC, well-known semiconductor manufacturing companies, chase to develo...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...bile phones and automotive vehicles. The leadership is complex and I strongly...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, nevertheless, so, thus, well, for example, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.5258426966 77% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.3162921348 53% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 33.0505617978 61% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 58.6224719101 77% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1685.0 2235.4752809 75% => OK
No of words: 327.0 442.535393258 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15290519878 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25242769721 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01374866758 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 215.323595506 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.525993883792 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 704.065955056 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.38483146067 46% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.2787761973 60.3974514979 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.6111111111 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1666666667 23.4991977007 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.27777777778 5.21951772744 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173333541433 0.243740707755 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538738413349 0.0831039109588 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0582678471831 0.0758088955206 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114898771316 0.150359130593 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0661573624993 0.0667264976115 99% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.1392134831 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.29 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.49 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.