Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which

Essay topics:

Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.

Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.

The claim states that young people should follow worthy goals as opposed to their dreams because many people's dreams are inherently selfish. When stated this way, i disagree completely with the author because dreams ignite passion, hard work and perseverance as to "worthy goals". However, i do have my reservations and understand the authors point of view.

In today's world where life moves very fast, it is important to have some sort of purpose or direction as one could easily get overwhelmed and lost.This sense of purpose does not come by the kind of lifestyle we live after all, depression is no respecter of wealth. Having passion for something ignites a sense of purpose and keeps us going even when things are not working as planned. For example, the owner of Alibaba, Jack ma was rejected from Harvard and told no a lot. But he knew what he wanted out of life. He held on this dream and today he is worth millions. Another example is Micheal Jordan. He has always wanted to play basketball. He is known for quoting "Basketball is my life, i eat, breathe and live basketball". For someone to make this sentence, it is clear that their is inbuilt passion which has resulted in him being regarded as one of the greatest basket ballers of our time.

When people follow passion, they have more sense of commitment and goal. I am a perfect example of this. When i graduated from Tertiary institution, i wanted to work in a nice office with a glass view. I eventually got a consultancy job with the Big Four. I hated this job. Despite the money and prestige, i did not enjoy my days and dreaded waking up in the morning and facing my colleagues. Eventually, i had the courage to quit the job. Today i am following my dream of being a professional photographer and even though it is not as lucrative as my previous job, i love my life more. I love waking up and knowing that am going to take some beautiful pictures. This is a classic example of following your passion as against worthy goals.

There are a lot of examples to which this claim does not apply. Take a lot at a doctor. He spends a lot of time and money in school to receive a degree. It pays off in the end but it takes only someone with passion to stay the course of long training hours and resource.

However, i do see the author's point of view. In our generation where everyone is looking for shortcut to success, passion is overrated. Everyone wants to get a good job after school, drive a posh car and have a picture perfect family. Rarely before you see one who would be patient enough to start from the scratch or do what he loves to do.I mean if you have a passion for Fashion, the path might be turbulent as everyone knows the fashion industry is cutthroat. A lot of hard work would need to be put in and this does not even guarantee your success. Furthermore, many people's dreams are selfish. Some people want to be leaders to gain power and not to serve. Like in my country where everyone wants to join politics to steal money and live the Fab life.

In conclusion, passion is very important. It serves as a navigator or compass to the future. It motivates when things go awry and if followed judiciously could be very rewarding. However, it is sometimes overrated as many people's dreams can be really selfish. I mean who does not want to be a footballer and earn millions of pounds a week.

Votes
Average: 5 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 164, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...herently selfish. When stated this way, i disagree completely with the author bec...
^
Line 1, column 301, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...s to 'worthy goals'. However, i do have my reservations and understand ...
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Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...e could easily get overwhelmed and lost.This sense of purpose does not come by the k...
^^^^
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...k ma was rejected from Harvard and told no a lot. But he knew what he wanted out o...
^^
Line 3, column 697, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...or quoting 'Basketball is my life, i eat, breathe and live basketball'....
^
Line 3, column 791, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: there
...to make this sentence, it is clear that their is inbuilt passion which has resulted i...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 111, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...l. I am a perfect example of this. When i graduated from Tertiary institution, i ...
^
Line 5, column 150, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... i graduated from Tertiary institution, i wanted to work in a nice office with a ...
^
Line 5, column 307, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...is job. Despite the money and prestige, i did not enjoy my days and dreaded wakin...
^
Line 5, column 406, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...g and facing my colleagues. Eventually, i had the courage to quit the job. Today ...
^
Line 5, column 447, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... had the courage to quit the job. Today i am following my dream of being a profes...
^
Line 5, column 567, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...is not as lucrative as my previous job, i love my life more. I love waking up and...
^
Line 5, column 622, Rule ID: AM_I[1]
Message: Did you mean 'am I'?
Suggestion: am I
...more. I love waking up and knowing that am going to take some beautiful pictures. ...
^^
Line 9, column 10, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
...aining hours and resource. However, i do see the authors point of view. In ou...
^
Line 9, column 236, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[1]
Message: The adverb 'Rarely' is usually not used at the beginning of a sentence.
... car and have a picture perfect family. Rarely before you see one who would be patient...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 342, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...m the scratch or do what he loves to do.I mean if you have a passion for Fashion,...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, look, really, so, after all, as to, for example, i mean, in conclusion, kind of, sort of

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 14.8657303371 175% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 64.0 33.0505617978 194% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 12.9106741573 46% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2789.0 2235.4752809 125% => OK
No of words: 615.0 442.535393258 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.53495934959 5.05705443957 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.97987886753 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6163172595 2.79657885939 94% => OK
Unique words: 302.0 215.323595506 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.491056910569 0.4932671777 100% => OK
syllable_count: 875.7 704.065955056 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 27.0 6.24550561798 432% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 39.0 20.2370786517 193% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.6514261418 60.3974514979 86% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.5128205128 118.986275619 60% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7692307692 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.05128205128 5.21951772744 58% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 16.0 7.80617977528 205% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 23.0 10.2758426966 224% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20959384507 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0464987400046 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.071770129699 0.0758088955206 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114984870296 0.150359130593 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.071002083591 0.0667264976115 106% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.8 14.1392134831 55% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 48.8420337079 150% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 12.1743820225 56% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.7 12.1639044944 72% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.