Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
It is stated that although young people are told to "follow their dreams," adults should encourage them to pick goals that are considered "worthy." Why? Adults counter that their dreams are inherently "selfish." The claim and reasoning are quite reasonable for college students who choose ostensibly selfish majors. However, this is not true for all college students, and, ironically, such an act is hypocritical.
When college students choose their dream major, the focus seems to be on earning money, and the school should actively work toward encouraging selflessness. A typical major at Cornell, Harvard, Duke--all of the Ivy-League colleges--is business, economics, and biology and pre-med. These are all career paths conducive toward financial success and indicate a student's concern to earning money. Even more so, their dream may be to become wealthy entrepreneurs or moguls. These facts indicate that their dreams are inherently selfish. The school can intervene in various ways: encouraging students to take courses on social entrepreneurship or nonprofit management, having students volunteer their time in a given course, or even by redesigning curriculums that are geared toward selflessness. By doing so, students can still choose a major that allows them to follow their dream but do so in a "worthy" manner.
On the other hand, many college students show that an individual can have a dream that is worthy. In other words, they are not mutually exclusive. These students take classes in environmental sustainability and even minor in it, intending to build a career in sustainable development. They also are not compelled to volunteer, instead vouching for themselves: They start clubs dedicated to helping the poor, mitigating environmental harm, and developing technology that achieves economic growth. They do this out of selflessness, not selfishness. There is no need to intervene--because they have already chosen "worthy" goals. In this case, the reasoning is false: Not every person's dream is inherently selfish.
In addition, while it is important to encourage young people to follow "worthy" dreams, such an act is hypocritical. Telling young adults how they should live their lives is an act of control that limits their freedoms. Even more, the concept of "worthiness" is fraught with ambiguity. What is "worthiness?" Who gets to define it? It is unfair for adults to encourage young adults to choose goals that they believe to be "worthy," not what the children want for themselves. Is that not the definition of "following your dream," namely that the individual is choosing for him- or herself?
It is important for young adults to include goals that are "worthy" in their and adults can do so by intervening in college settings. At the same time, it is not always necessary: The students have chosen a worthy goal and is active in achieving so. Most concerning, however, is that the claim is unfair. While it is peachy for adults to want their children to choose "worthy" goals, they need to reconsider whether that passes boundaries. What is most important is having students choose dreams and encouraging them to learn what a worthy goal is, without intervention. There will be students who learn what "worthy" is on their own, and there will be students who are simply irreconcilable. However, the majority of students will find a path that is both a little selfish but just as selfless.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 78, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...le are told to 'follow their dreams,' adults should encourage them to pick g...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 891, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...them to follow their dream but do so in a 'worthy' manner. On the ot...
^
Line 7, column 464, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...als that they believe to be 'worthy,' not what the children want for themsel...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 571, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...definition of 'following your dream,' namely that the individual is choosing...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, may, so, still, while, in addition, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 43.0 19.5258426966 220% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.3162921348 194% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 33.0505617978 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3015.0 2235.4752809 135% => OK
No of words: 550.0 442.535393258 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.48181818182 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.84273464058 4.55969084622 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.54202584793 2.79657885939 127% => OK
Unique words: 255.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463636363636 0.4932671777 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 900.9 704.065955056 128% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.1346652334 60.3974514979 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.5 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.3333333333 23.4991977007 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.96666666667 5.21951772744 57% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.83258426966 124% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.32522968692 0.243740707755 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10457191388 0.0831039109588 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0991837186589 0.0758088955206 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.220334737488 0.150359130593 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0985095966326 0.0667264976115 148% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.1392134831 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.8420337079 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.1639044944 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 100.480337079 127% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.