Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.Write a response in which you discuss the e

Essay topics:

Claim: Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.
Reason: It is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.

The prompt claims that government should provide extra funds to its major cities as cities preserver and generates the country's cultural traditions. True, the culture of a nation is very important in generating harmony and keeping its people in cohesion. However, I mostly don't agree with the claim on three grounds.

To begin with, the authors claim that major cities are the one that preserves culture would have been true some 100 years ago. But, nowadays with the ease of transportation, booming globalization and countries promoting tourism major cities have become cosmopolitan, to say the least. For instance, Paris the capital of France is also known as the fashion capital of the world as it is home to some of the biggest fashion companies. Aspiring fashion designers or models from all around the world move to Paris in the hope that the can make it into the industry. Because of this reason, Paris is home to people of different ethnicity and different culture which is good when we talk about diversity but, not as much when preserving traditions is concerned.

Furthermore, a person visiting a country cannot appreciate its endemic culture as much as he would if he visits nearby smaller cities or villages. Major cities in their race to become global elites and somewhat lost their origin. For instance, New Delhi other than being the capital of India is also an attractive destination for foreigners. But other than how populated India is as a country you cannot comprehend Indian culture from Delhi. Whereas if the same foreigner is to visit a small city or town as in Varanasi. He would be able to witness Indian culture up close. Those are the areas that are still untouched and can certainly reflect aboriginal culture.

Moreover, the government already have limited resources and they should focus that on other core issues such as education, health, employment, etc and leave the matter of cultural preservation in the hand of its citizens and masses. People themselves will become interested in preserving their culture ones they are free from its core exigencies. For instance, if a country starts investing more money in renovating monuments at the expense of job security people will start looking for other option and will start moving to other countries which will only affect governments primary objective of preserving traditions as it is through people traditions are preserved and not through man-made monuments.

In conclusion, a government should do everything in its power of preserve traditions but not at the expense of its citizen's comfort and when trying to preserve culture, smaller cities might be a better option to look at.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...s people in cohesion. However, I mostly dont agree with the claim on three grounds. ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, look, so, still, for instance, in conclusion, such as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1704.0 2235.4752809 76% => OK
No of words: 330.0 442.535393258 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.16363636364 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26214759535 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71619974354 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 215.323595506 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.563636363636 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 524.7 704.065955056 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 20.2370786517 64% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 23.0359550562 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.3742937428 60.3974514979 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 131.076923077 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.3846153846 23.4991977007 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.07692307692 5.21951772744 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218010869743 0.243740707755 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0770269289453 0.0831039109588 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0659095803324 0.0758088955206 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135335006181 0.150359130593 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0372909414134 0.0667264976115 56% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.1392134831 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.1639044944 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 100.480337079 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.2143820225 107% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.