Educational Institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
I fundamentally disagree that the currently evaluated talent of a student should be an indicator in determining the future study and career. Needless to say, talent is vital to get success in one’s career. Yet, I emphasize the significance of effort compared to talent, and additionally, will show the statement unwarranted by indicating the hidden assumption that it is making.
At first glance, the given statement looks attractive. The inherent ability of a student plays a crucial role in studying and his future career. Numerous examples approve this point. especially in music and arts, many ingenious composers like Beethoven, Mozart, or Brahms showed their gifts very early in life. On the contrary case, an Overwhelming number of contemporary musicians in the 18th century might live in difficulties and are forgotten now in 21st century. Athletes aren’t exceptions as well. Turning to view a more general case, studying mathematics and science (especially physics) requires learners’ talent significantly: a lot of students who choose their major in engineer or science are suffered from the burdensome study and finally change their majors. Truly, talent does lots in study and success of a career.
Nevertheless, we can’t ignore the importance of effort. there’s a famous phrase that Sir Edison left: A genius consists of 1% inspiration and 99% effort. Admittedly, 1% inspiration is needed to complete the genius, but what consisting genius in major is the effort. The career of Chinese pianist yundi lee aptly illustrates the essentiality of effort. yundi lee, the champion of chopin International competition in 2000, was famous for his artful technics on piano. but in 2015, at the concert in South Korea, he forgot the portion of the piece and skipped the passage! Surprisingly, the piece was what he performed in the final stage in the chopin competition that he won. In fact, he was lazy in keeping his ability still keenly after the competition. this example conveys us the importance of effort by introducing the dramatic declination in the field where talent is considered extremely necessary.
Moreover, some critical caveats might be hidden in the educational institutions’ judgment, by prematurely trusting that the talent of students will remain the same in the future as now. Plenty number of scholars had prospered their gifts in the middle of their career. Einstein had worked in the patents office of Swiss before he announced the very article explaining relativity theory, though he had graduated a great college (ETH Zurich). Although we despite Einstein’s case, there is an equivalent number of scientists who discovered their talent after graduation compared to who flourished their talent in the early stage. some can insist that this is the result of effort, but the insistence would not be able to validate the next example. In elementary school, children usually prefer playing with friends than studying in front of a desk. In this step, a calm student with moderate talent would be considered as gifted than a restive child. but by growing up, the restive child would start studying and his hidden talent can be denuded. Thus it is dangerous to define students’ ability in the early age of life.
In sum, though I admit the importance of talents as the speaker asserts, I can’t hide my anxiety for the danger that a hasty examination of students’ talent would make. Furthermore, there is another risk of misjudging the actually required ability in a specific field when institutions dissuade tutees. Definitively, the noble value of effort can’t be lighted compared to talent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion: Especially
.... Numerous examples approve this point. especially in music and arts, many ingenious compo...
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Suggestion: There&apos
...apos;t ignore the importance of effort. there's a famous phrase that Sir Edison left:...
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Suggestion: Yundi
...illustrates the essentiality of effort. yundi lee, the champion of chopin Internation...
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Suggestion: But
...amous for his artful technics on piano. but in 2015, at the concert in South Korea,...
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Suggestion: This
...ity still keenly after the competition. this example conveys us the importance of ef...
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Line 7, column 302, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'patents'' or 'patent's'?
Suggestion: patents'; patent's
...heir career. Einstein had worked in the patents office of Swiss before he announced the...
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Suggestion: Some
...rished their talent in the early stage. some can insist that this is the result of e...
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Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'insists'.
Suggestion: insists
...eir talent in the early stage. some can insist that this is the result of effort, but ...
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Suggestion: as
...te talent would be considered as gifted than a restive child. but by growing up, the...
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Suggestion: But
...sidered as gifted than a restive child. but by growing up, the restive child would ...
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Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...g and his hidden talent can be denuded. Thus it is dangerous to define students&apos...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, furthermore, if, look, moreover, nevertheless, so, still, thus, well, in fact, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.4196629213 113% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.3162921348 106% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 80.0 58.6224719101 136% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3095.0 2235.4752809 138% => OK
No of words: 584.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.29965753425 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91590194646 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01415343315 2.79657885939 108% => OK
Unique words: 314.0 215.323595506 146% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537671232877 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 967.5 704.065955056 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.38483146067 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.2370786517 153% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 53.5874905806 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.8387096774 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.8387096774 23.4991977007 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.03225806452 5.21951772744 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 11.0 7.80617977528 141% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 25.0 10.2758426966 243% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0961627615466 0.243740707755 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0250933176238 0.0831039109588 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0370894401111 0.0758088955206 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0576164594978 0.150359130593 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0287116087518 0.0667264976115 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.46 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.15 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 171.0 100.480337079 170% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.