Educational institutions have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
In our society, there are many fields of study and a person who study each field might become the expert of the field and succeed with this field. however, I mostly disagree with the statement that education institutions have to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
Granted, if education institutions have the responsibility and do so, students would pursue fields of study that they can succeed. students will not pursue the fields like figure skating, hip-hop, judo. Instead of the fields, they will study math, English, science, economics. Then, they can go to the beneficial university and take a successful job. they may earn a lot of money or achieve significant development of technology. Indeed, when education institutions implement some policies to prevent students from pursuing such fields, the nations can be advanced by people who gain productive jobs. therefore, the government may be responsible for dissuading.
however, students who study successful fields can fail. The students have individual temper and ability. Thus, their achievements of the fields depend on them. Also, aforementioned fields, such as athletic and music, can give students a large amount of success. In the fields, there are many distinguished people in the world. For example, Yuna Kim, Michael Jackson, or Beyonce succeeded in their fields. when they were young, did they pursue fields of study in which they are likely to succeed? No, they just made efforts to be good at their own fields and may have been indifferent the other fields. it doesn’t matter to them. Moreover, educational institutions just need to help students hone their skills or study fields they are interested in. The government’s intervention of education might desirable for students. it just serves them the education of elementary fields to help students live at least not poor. therefore, educational institutions do not have to prevent students from pursuing fields of study in which they are unlikely to succeed.
In brief, educational institutions do not need to have a responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing not successful fields of study. they rather encourage students to study the fields in which students are interested.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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In our society, there are many fields of...
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Suggestion: However
... the field and succeed with this field. however, I mostly disagree with the statement t...
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...hich they are unlikely to succeed. Granted, if education institutions have ...
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Suggestion: Students
... fields of study that they can succeed. students will not pursue the fields like figure ...
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Suggestion: They
...l university and take a successful job. they may earn a lot of money or achieve sign...
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Suggestion: Therefore
...ced by people who gain productive jobs. therefore, the government may be responsible for ...
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Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...may be responsible for dissuading. however, students who study successful f...
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Suggestion: However
...nsible for dissuading. however, students who study successful fields c...
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Suggestion: When
..., or Beyonce succeeded in their fields. when they were young, did they pursue fields...
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...have been indifferent the other fields. it doesn't matter to them. Moreover, ...
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...education might desirable for students. it just serves them the education of eleme...
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Suggestion: Therefore
...o help students live at least not poor. therefore, educational institutions do not have t...
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Line 13, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
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...hich they are unlikely to succeed. In brief, educational institutions do no...
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Suggestion: They
...ursuing not successful fields of study. they rather encourage students to study the ...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, at least, for example, in brief, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 33.0505617978 79% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 58.6224719101 84% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1926.0 2235.4752809 86% => OK
No of words: 359.0 442.535393258 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36490250696 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35284910392 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92973981127 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 215.323595506 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.467966573816 0.4932671777 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 573.3 704.065955056 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 23.0359550562 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.28491559 60.3974514979 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 80.25 118.986275619 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.9583333333 23.4991977007 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.20833333333 5.21951772744 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 7.80617977528 179% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.667107076356 0.243740707755 274% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.203853497764 0.0831039109588 245% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.20558609232 0.0758088955206 271% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.511337925954 0.150359130593 340% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0798771092608 0.0667264976115 120% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.3 14.1392134831 80% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.8420337079 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.1743820225 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.22 12.1639044944 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.28 8.38706741573 87% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 100.480337079 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 11.8971910112 71% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.2143820225 68% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.