People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
Does general social trends acts predominantly in one's decision making, rather than one's intrinsic effects? Albeit it has some merits, I find this contention assumes some unascertained hypothesis and fails to account for a possible caveat of adults with mature experiences. Thus I acknowledge the merit of the contention insofar as it is applied to premature students though, I fundamentally disagree to the contention.
Admittedly, we can anticipate that children and adolescences would greatly influenced by extrinsic social press and therefore behave as the dominating trends of the social group one is contained. Consider how elementary, middle, and high school students try to behave similar to their friends. Aristoteles said 'human is a social animal'. premature students tend to be easily affected by circumstances and their friends, and the reason why is because they feel comfortable by pertaining to certain groups, which is the very inherent need of human being. Thus I agree that the recommendation has a partial merit.
However, the above scenario is true only under a particular condition: is still people behave regarding to social atmosphere only if they are not adolescences but adults with mature ego? My answer is 'No', seeing the contrary example which aptly illustrates why rather their own ego strongly affect to adults' behavior rather than social atmosphere. University students are encouraged to read many books and experience diverse activities, to make their own perspective and decision standard of their future. In near future, when they get their jobs and formulate own disposition, they will be hugely influenced by what they read and saw, which originated from their own decision. Notwithstanding the previous consideration, some might argue that this can be an exemplary case depicting the importance of social atmosphere, arguing that even such apparently intrinsic activities are actually determined by their social backgrounds. Yet, one's own decision and ego is likely to determine one's behavior still, even admitting the counter argument. The social backgrounds' effect to one's decision is limited-this affects one's decision only superficially and in broad degree-while in diminutive degree, one's own experience and ego act without any disturbance from social background. That is, the counter argument is irrelevant to my intention to suggesting the example and never does it weaken the justness of the example. Still there's no problem for the case of decision making of adults to substantiate my view.
In sum, the speaker oversimplified the matter by being lured to the limited merit of human's intrinsic tendency to become a 'social animal'. As a result, I feel onerous in agreeing the contention unless the speaker obviates the possible caveat of understating one's ego.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ral social trends acts predominantly in ones decision making, rather than ones intri...
^^^^
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...veat of adults with mature experiences. Thus I acknowledge the merit of the contenti...
^^^^
Line 3, column 76, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'influence'
Suggestion: influence
...children and adolescences would greatly influenced by extrinsic social press and therefore...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Premature
...stoteles said human is a social animal. premature students tend to be easily affected by ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 439, Rule ID: REASON_IS_BECAUSE[1]
Message: Probably an incorrect phrase. Use 'the reason 'is that''.
Suggestion: is that
...s and their friends, and the reason why is because they feel comfortable by pertaining to ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 553, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... the very inherent need of human being. Thus I agree that the recommendation has a p...
^^^^
Line 6, column 81, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'peopled'.
Suggestion: peopled
... under a particular condition: is still people behave regarding to social atmosphere o...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 983, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...decision and ego is likely to determine ones behavior still, even admitting the coun...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1074, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...ument. The social backgrounds effect to ones decision is limited-this affects ones d...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1112, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...o ones decision is limited-this affects ones decision only superficially and in broa...
^^^^
Line 6, column 1413, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Still,
... it weaken the justness of the example. Still theres no problem for the case of decis...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 1419, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...aken the justness of the example. Still theres no problem for the case of decision mak...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 258, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...tes the possible caveat of understating ones ego.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, apparently, but, however, if, regarding, so, still, therefore, thus, while, i feel, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 58.6224719101 85% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2381.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 436.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.46100917431 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56953094068 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.0440912712 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 215.323595506 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548165137615 0.4932671777 111% => OK
syllable_count: 755.1 704.065955056 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.043893108 60.3974514979 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.315789474 118.986275619 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9473684211 23.4991977007 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52631578947 5.21951772744 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 7.80617977528 167% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122377603031 0.243740707755 50% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0373341303093 0.0831039109588 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0330665538453 0.0758088955206 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0634690987919 0.150359130593 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348094775429 0.0667264976115 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.8420337079 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.1743820225 108% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.68 12.1639044944 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.29 8.38706741573 111% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 100.480337079 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.